Newsverse: Elena Kagan Orders Lunch

Hi, my name is Jeff and I’ll be serving you today.
I have to ask some questions before we get underway.
I have to say it seems to me your resume is checkered
You don't bring to the table an extensive dining record.
I notice that you've never held a seat on a banquette
Or issued an opinion on a dish of veal blanquette.
I’m not convinced that you possess a culinary vision.
A customer must be prepared to render a decision
Impartially and fairly on the lunch that she just ate
Solely on the merits, on the facts upon the plate.
I have to ask you where you fall, on which side of the schism
Between restraint in ordering, and dining activism?
Would you like to start with caviar? It might help us to know
If you’ve formed an opinion on the matter known as roe.
Do you believe in honoring "original intent"
As written in the menu, or would you circumvent
The vision of Escoffier, imposing your own will
On the salmon special, and ask to hold the dill?
 
Thank you, Jeff, I’m honored to be sitting here for lunch
To you and all your colleagues, thank you fellows, thanks a bunch.
Before I give my answer, though, I feel that I must reference
All earlier decisions in the matter, and with deference
I don't think it's appropriate to indicate a preference.
And therefore I respectfully decline to give my order
And I’ll let Congress make the choice of still or sparkling water.

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