Rob Delaney: The Tweets That Rocked the Vote

Rob Delaney

Mitt Romney was so transparent in his pandering, his shape shifting, that making fun of him was easy. As a comedian, I would begin my day making jokes about Mitt as warm-up for making jokes about more substantive topics. If making fun of things that I truly care about was the heavyweight match, Mitt Romney was the speed bag in the gym.

This election was more fun than 2008 because Sarah Palin was just a caricature. She was a slow-moving varmint. Mitt Romney, after a lifetime of wanting to be president, was like a thoroughbred dressage horse—and as an admirer of all things equestrian, I found him more enjoyable to lasso.

One of the more popular tweets I did was, “‘Ha, ha, ha! Terrific’—Mitt Romney every time Jar Jar Binks appears on screen.”

I was contacted some months ago by the people who run Obama’s online army. They asked if I wanted to be involved in any capacity with the campaign. I first came on their radar because I was doing fake retweets of Obama, saying things that were
patently ridiculous. So I said to them, “Let me tell you a few things and then you tell me if you still want me to be involved: I will talk about specific policy, but I won’t talk about Barack Obama ‘the man’ or ‘the candidate.’ I won’t put on a ‘Hope’ or ‘Change’ T-shirt.” Then I didn’t hear from them.

But as I championed the Affordable Care Act (ACA), and as the election became closer, our goals hewed closer together and I again started trading emails with them. If I wrote something that I felt set the ACA in a good light, then I would send it over. When I really took the gloves off toward the end of the campaign, they said, “Hey, listen, do you want to come to Chicago on election night?” And yeah, I’d like to see the reelection of the guy who made it so the poor little girl in Mississippi has Medicaid when her non–Hodgkin’s lymphoma bill breaks through what had previously been her lifetime benefit cap.

When Obama was elected in 2008, I thought, Huh. Terrific. But when he was reelected in 2012, I pretty much danced a jig because of the f--king ACA. I would have thrown my Twitter account in the garbage if it helped cement the ACA. And because of the political tweets, I lost a lot followers along the way—a
thousand people a day would unfollow me—for all the followers that I gained.

The ACA is going to go down in history as a towering ­achievement—for all Americans. And in the political realm, I don’t have a bigger goal than that. So I think it’s back to fart jokes.

—As told to Michael Moynihan

rob delaney @robdelaney Disappointed Obama didn’t halt global warming? Then you should definitely punish him by giving Paul Ryan the keys to your daughter’s uterus.

rob delaney @robdelaney @RepPaulRyan I’m texting passages from Atlas Shrugged to my cousin whose  apartment was destroyed by flood. He says it’s not reassembling?

rob delaney @robdelaney “I was gonna vote for [insert candidate] but after watching the debate I’m going to vote for [that exact same  candidate].—Everyone

rob delaney @robdelaney I was considering voting for
@mittromney, but then I remembered I  ENTERED THE WORLD THROUGH A VAGINA.