The Hollywood Foreign Press Association really is the most ridiculous little club in Hollywood. If you had any doubts, they should have been put to rest last night at the Golden Globes when the organization's president, Philip Berk, took the podium. A correspondent for FilmInk (Australia) and Galaxie (Malaysia), Berk, who looked like he'd borrowed his glasses from Martin Scorsese, rattled on wildly about Meryl Streep, Clint Eastwood and Jack Nicholson, before offering a quote I can't find on Google today.
The rest of the show was equally wobbly. Why, for example, is the award for best actress in a TV comedy presented after the award for best TV comedy? Still, no matter how dubious the distinction (only 80 or so journalists pick the winners), the show is still tons more entertaining than the Oscars. Here's our rundown:
The Good: Meryl Streep. Maybe she's nominated for every award because she's also the best at accepting them. That's all. Runner-up: Sacha Baron Cohen, Mr. Borat himself, for the most hilarious speech, following the most hilarious performance of the year.
The Bad: Helen Mirren. For someone who won two awards for playing two different queens, it would've been nice to see her let loose with some unroyal charms.
The Ugly: Betty. As in "Ugly Betty." But don't get us wrong: America Ferrara was adorable as she gave the night's most heartfelt acceptance.
The Good: Angelina Jolie. She wasn't nominated for "The Good Shepherd," but she deserved an award for looking so classy next to Brad.
The Bad: Justin Timberlake. Poor guy, his eyebrows looked more waxed than Jessica Alba's legs. We'll blame heartbreak, which brings us to ...
The Ugly: Cameron Diaz's dress.
The Good: "Grey's Anatomy" winning best TV drama and Martin Scorsese winning best director. Maybe this will finally be his year to take home the Oscar.
The Bad: "Babel" winning best picture, its only award of the night. Three of the other nominees ("The Departed," "Little Children," "The Queen") were far superior. One ("Bobby") should have been nominated for a Razzie instead.
The Ugly: "The Song of the Heart" from "Happy Feet" winning best song over Beyonce's "Listen." That made the "Dreamgirls" star a two-time loser for the night.
The Cecil B. DeMille Award
The Good: Tom Hanks's solid introduction.
The Bad: Warren Beatty's rambling speech: "The truth is I haven't made an awful lot of movies. In fact, somebody said about me, every single movie that I ever made from the beginning was a comeback. Something like this, really, is enough to make a guy go out and make another movie. But I have to tell you that I really don't know--when I'm around the house with Annette and the family and I hear this stuff about the great work Clint is doing and that Jack is doing and Dustin, I just don't know what to think." Wait--who's being honored again?
The Ugly: Why was Annette Bening wearing a pillowcase with sequins?
Ready for My Close-Up
The Good: Jack Nicholson. Okay, so he didn't win, but seated front-row center, his reaction shots were TV gold. Also kudos to his daughter for enduring the humiliating title of Miss Golden Globe.
The Bad: Why so many no-shows? Peter O'Toole, Judi Dench, the entire best actor in a comedy or musical motion picture category. (Though we imagine even Johnny Depp was surprised he got nominated for "Pirates of the Caribbean 2.")
The Ugly: The Donald. How did he get invited? As a reality show, "The Apprentice" isn't even eligible.