Starting 5: Ronaldo Don't Know, Lance Stephenson's Heat Rash and Landon Donovan Lives!

Cristiano Ronaldo
A shirtless Cristiano Ronaldo Kai Pfaffenbach/Reuters

1. "Ronaldo" is Portuguese for A-Rod"

Soccer's highest-salaried star, Cristiano Ronaldo ($23 million), is nearly invisible throughout a thrilling Champions League final that went into overtime. Then, in the 119th minute, the native of Portugal scores a meaningless penalty kick goal make the score 4-1 and rips off his shirt as if he'd just won the World Cup.

2. Taxi Drivers

Three-time Indianapolis 500 winner Helio Castroneves and relative unknown Ryan Hunter-Rheay, both driving yellow cars, pass each other three times in the final six laps of a thrilling finish at the Brickyard. Hunter-Rheay, from Florida, nips the Brazilian by 0.06, the second-closest finish in Indy 500 history.

3. "I can take the heat"

That's a lower-case "h" for Indiana Pacer Lance Stephenson's quote after he was held to nine points in Indiana's Game 4 defeat after trash-talking LeBron James (32 points) one day earlier. If someone can take the Heat, it appears not to be the Pacers, who now trail three games to one. 

RTR3Q38U Miami Heat guard Dwayne Wade over Lance Stephenson Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

4. Landon, Not Done

Landon Donovan, just days after suffering the unkindest cut of all from U.S. soccer coach Jurgen Klinsmann, scores two goals for the Los Angeles Galaxy to become the all-time leading scorer in MLS history. 

Landon Donovan Landon Donovan scored his 136th MLS goal in the second half of the game against the Philadelphia Union at StubHub Center Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports

5. How To Succeed in Business Without Really Dying

Robert Morse, who in the 1960s played the lead in a Broadway musical about rising up the corporate ladder in Manhattan, dies (or at least his character, Bert Cooper, does) in Mad Men. Morse, 83, then performs a shoe-less soft shoe for Don Draper's eyes only as the curtain closer on the series' half-season finale.