Starting Five for Thursday

masters golf
Sweden's Jonas Blixt hits a shot on the second hole during the first round of the 2014 Masters golf tournament at the Augusta National Golf Club in Augusta, Georgia April 10, 2014 Brian Snyder/Reuters

1. Teed Off  

The Masters begins today without, for the first time in 20 years, Tiger Woods. Or me giving a damn.    

2. NC(PAY)A  

Vikings RB Adrian Peterson says student-athletes should be paid, citing himself, Johnny Manziel and LeBron James as examples. And you should drop out of college because look at Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg.  

3. Oscar Pistorius on the Stand 

I predict that he will break down and confess... but that's just a shot in the dark.  

4. Missing Plane Programming

"You're watching CNN.... (PING!)"  

5. Rolling Stone Cover  

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who plays vice president Selina Meyer on "Veep" appears naked with a copy of the Constitution tattooed on her back. If this does not seem a bit off to you, Facebook your social studies teacher.