1. Teed Off
The Masters begins today without, for the first time in 20 years, Tiger Woods. Or me giving a damn.
Vikings RB Adrian Peterson says student-athletes should be paid, citing himself, Johnny Manziel and LeBron James as examples. And you should drop out of college because look at Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg.
I predict that he will break down and confess... but that's just a shot in the dark.
4. Missing Plane Programming
"You're watching CNN.... (PING!)"
5. Rolling Stone Cover
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who plays vice president Selina Meyer on "Veep" appears naked with a copy of the Constitution tattooed on her back. If this does not seem a bit off to you, Facebook your social studies teacher.