Today in Tabs: Big Doge

Shteyngart's memoir has a trailer and Google gets into military robots. It's Today in Tabs. REUTERS/Tyrone Siu

Tragically, Peter O'Toole and the last shreds of 60 Minutes' credibility both died this weekend. The Verge and The Wire have more on that latter loss. They will both be remembered fondly and missed by very old people.

Today in Hacks: Malcolm Gladwell channeled by Alex PareenePBump risks the wrath of the Beyoncites but Godwins himself tragically at the end. The Boston Globe is not a good enough newspaper to be allowed to snowfall anythingDouthat on daughters (or better Douthat via The Toast). Mike Tyson waxes philosophicalCome on now, Camille Paglia, are you even trying?

Shteyngart released a trailer for his memoir which is so bad that even Thumper Fitzgerald is forced to not say anything at all about it.

Slavoj Zizek on the fake South African sign language interpreter: "Through his fake translation, Jantjie rendered palpable the fake of the entire ceremony."

Our Awful Future: Google bought military robot developer Boston Dynamics, bringing the dystopian future one step closerGoogle has already made the first-person shooter a real thingZombie plague breaks out among Pacific starfish: "You'll see detached arms crawling away from their body." A Chinese man's severed hand is preserved by attaching it to his ankle for a month. Maybe don't click that last link if you're not ok with unbearable horror.

It's that time of year again when I have to explain that the Star Wars holiday special is like heroin addiction: there is no way to describe it without making it seem sort of cool and glamorous, but it IS NOT COOL AND GLAMOROUS and will in fact literally ruin your life.

Startup architecture critiquedCronut no longer geographically limited; interns everywhere breathe a sigh of relief. Lorde's "Royals" is apparently about this picture of George Brett, whatever you'd like to do with that information. Words to live by. Also on Put HTML: I've been mesmerized by this all weekend.

The inimitable Phuc Tran on the subjunctiveJust stop using Instagram. Just stop. The New York Times tells us that balance balls are a fashionable way to stay in shape at the office, only eight months after The New York Times told us that balance balls have no positive effect on healthThe New York Times: We'll tell you everything, and you decide what to believe.

Finally: Santa Claus has a special message for Megyn Kelly.

Today in Rob Ford: Mayor Ford Goes to Church

Today's Song: The Raveonettes, "Break Up Girls"

~There are tabs worth dying for, but none worth killing for.~

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