Tab Updates: Remember yesterday's ruin-porn tab about Flint, MI? Turns out one of the pictures was from Israel and another was from Detroit. Also it was by JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon's daughter, so I guess fraud runs in the family. Good for her for pretending to work, though. TLDR's Alex Goldman points out, in a different context, that if you're using a picture you find on the internet, you might want to know where it came from. Or, hey, you might not care! I don't know your life.
Cord Jefferson takes us on a tour of the year in American racial amnesia. Just read it.
Paul Graham took issue with how he was quoted in The Information, and seems to have successfully distracted public comment away from his dirt-stupid "girls, huh, I don't know" and onto whether the word "these" makes any difference (the answer is: who cares). The Information's Jessica Lessin responded informatively and at length. If you're not sure whose side to be on, just know that Mike Arrington is on Paul Graham's side and Mike Arrington's presence defines the wrong side of any argument. How's your boat, Mike?
TechCrunch's Ryan Lawler delivers some great reporting about Motionloft and Jon Mills that we'll probably look back on as the beginning of the end for Tech Bubble 2.0.
Kyle Chayka makes a valiant effort to put doge to rest once and for all on The Verge, which I predict will fail. "Today in" Adrianne Jeffries responds to Krugman's "Bitcoin is Evil". Bitcoin might be more successful if we could just come up with some more Bitcoin business ideas don't you think? The Printed Internet takes us inside the bizarre and terrifyingHealthcare.gov "virtual waiting room." Zappos goes holocratic, which is a new system of organizing companies such that the lines of power and responsibility are hidden and secret so they can be more easily used against anyone at any time. Sounds like an exciting new corporate direction!
Today in New Years: New Yeezy Resolutions. The Year in Brit (also don't miss BetaBeat's D.I.Wine like I somehow did). The Morning News'sMost and Least Important of 2013 (it's great that every "most important" is someone else's "least important" and vice versa). 115 years of Times Square (check out 1905!). New movies onNetflix streaming for 2014 include "Red Dawn," "American Psycho," and "What's Eating Gilbert Grape!" It's going to be cold and miserable tonight, so maybe we should all just stay in tonight and do whatever drugs were responsible for this. Or this.
Today in Women: Beardy Duckingson also has progressive opinions about women as I'm sure you can imagine. "You got to marry these girls when they are about 15 or 16," he advises. A charming gentleman. Canadian human tab Stephen Marche examines the fictional figure of "the woman who will screw you to death," and I think concludes that yup, that's scary? Or something? Reuters breaks the major scoop that labia surgery may be driven by unnatural images. OMG someone tell Sydney before it's too late. This is the teleological direction all those public stunt proposals point: Washington man kidnaps girlfriend, forces her on Vegas trip to get married.
Today's What is Even Going On Here: Shia what are you doing?
2013's Best Visual Metaphor: Ahhhhhhhhh
There's No Way To Link To This, But: Add "tnysb" on Snapchat, you won't regret it.
~We tabs hae run about the braes, and puâ€™d the gowans fine ;~
The title today is from a David Foster Wallace essay on John Updike, so tonight while you're getting drunk, take a minute to ponder "the prospect of dying without having loved something more than yourself." And Happy New Year!