Today in Tabs: Everybody Trolls

CNN investigates if a black hole could have swallowed the missing Malaysian Airlines plane. tpmtv/

From time to time, in the world of tabs, there comes a controversy so completely opaque that even I have a hard time figuring out what to do with it. Yesterday, FireDogLake, which if you're not familiar with it is the left wing's equivalent of The Blaze, posted a long and completely incomprehensible article about Buzzfeed politics reporter Rosie Gray and her (maybe?) relationship with reporter Eli Lake. Along with a lot of stuff about a book Gray's father wrote (?) and Buzzfeed editor Ben Smith's dad being a judge (??), and some sort of bizarre contention that it's improper for two reporters at different publications to date (???), FDL's Dan S. Wright included this peach of a sentence:

It was later changed slightly to:

And now the "pumping" line has been edited out completely with a footnote stating that "After objections from BuzzFeed Editor Ben Smith this line has been changed."

I can't possibly pretend to know or care what the substance of this dispute is, and the left's crazies fighting with Buzzfeed's politics section is fine with me if it keeps them all occupied... and I want to give this more of a conclusion but that's all I've got really. Everyone is awful.

Dylan Byers gives us a master-class in concern trolling, rounding up the knives that are out for Nate Silver without forgetting to get his own shiv in there. Golf clap. The "notorious" (where notorious is a euphemism for "unknown outside Reddit") internet troll weev, who made certain to get himself thrown in jail last year, started his appeal yesterday. I want to think that CNN's Don Lemon is trolling, by asking if the missing Malaysian flight could have been swallowed by a black hole, but I think he's just dumb. And finally, in a Perfect Storm of terrible, Delta and LinkedIn announced, at TED of course, the creation of "Innovation Class", which appears to be a sort of mentorship-in-flight program. Delta's safety record is lamentably good, I'm sorry to report.

Gawker's Condescending Schoolmarm vertical is really heating up, with Tom Scocca's scolding backpack howto joining Hamilton Nolan's mansplanation of Twitter from last week. We can only hope they're hard at work on "Do I Have To Show You How to Load the Goddamn Dishwasher Again? Really?"

Casey N. Cep, who doesn't just write better than everyone else, but also somehow writes more than everyone else, which seems wrong and unfair, points out in the New Yorker that "unplugging" is dumb. This leads to the beautiful spectacle of commenters calling the New Yorker too enamored of technology. Full credit has been awarded.

According to The Guardian, Silicon Valley was in on the NSA's spying all along. Is this surprising? No it isn't. I dropped the ball on this earlier, but when Clinkle COO Barry McCarthy walked, its lead designer also quit after only working there for 8 days. Clinkle is a hilarious clustercuss, but in my day we had Webvan. You kids don't even know how to fail big. Adrianne Jeffries checks up on Github after Horvath, and... it seems pretty quiet.

Just Setting Up My Twttr: Twitter unveiled a "find your first tweet" tool today, and the shame was widespread. There are some unsettling hints that @-replies might be on the way out, as Twitter continues to try to replicate that fantastic Facebook experience. Unsure what to tweet? Please consult the Social Media Style Guide for Journalists.

Starbucks and Oprah teamed up to make a tea. "I looove tea,” said Oprah Winfrey. "That's 'el oh oh oh vee e.' Let me see? Yeah that's right. Looove." The tea was developed with Teavana’s leading teaologist Naoko Tsunoda, who is a graduate of the Princeton Teaological Seminary.

Don't Watch This: I'm serious, it's about Shrek and... look just don't watch it. (NSFW probably)

Ho_y Sh__! How did he do this? (via Hypervocal)

Today's Awesome New Game: It's like Threes but...

~It means no tabs for the rest of your days...~

This has nothing to do with Today in Tabs but my other workplace is looking for a summer ops intern in NYC, so if you know anyone, please pass the link along. As always you can find us on Newsweek and in your email. I haven't mentioned it in a while so if you want to follow me I tweet @rusytyk5 and sometimes @TodayinTabs. You can always email me by just hitting reply as well. Hakuna matata.