Today in Tabs: Mole Tabs in Space

Davos
Davos is imminent, important, and boring, so journalists are reduced to writing about the people who don't go to Davos REUTERS/Ruben Sprich

Hello, I'm Paul Ford. Rusty Foster is tired. Here are your tabs.

DEATH TAB II. In the wake of the fury vortex that "Dr. V's Magical Putter" created, Grantland published two responses. The first, by Christina Kahrl, a writer for sister siteESPN.com, explained what the story got wrong. ("It was not Grantland's job to out Essay Anne Vanderbilt, but it was done, carelessly.") The second, by Grantland editor Bill Simmons, offered an exhaustive explanation of how the article came to be, described where the process failed ("I realized over the weekend that I didn't know nearly enough about the transgender community-and neither does my staff."), and put forth what the publication plans to do in the future to avoid such situations (talk to trans people). Also according to Simmons, author Caleb Hannan "never, at any time, threatened to out [Dr. V.] on Grantland." A good apology, as the ever-expanding genre of Internet apologies goes, but one that highlights the systemic lack of human variety within an industry (publishing) supposedly dedicated to chronicling human variety.

BRANDS! Many global brands commemmorated MLK day on Twitterincluding PornhubSteve McQueen interviewed Kanye WestTa-Nehisi Coates wrote about Richard Sherman, and a black person appeared on Downton Abbey. Did you know beards were a white supremacist fashion statement?

EVENTS! Davos is imminent, important, and boring, so journalists are reduced to writing about the people who don't go to Davos. The Superbowl is also imminent, but this coverage feels about right. The Jaipur Literary Festival is ending right now, and featured a diverse group of global authors complaining about American literature to Jonathan Franzen. "American literature is massively overrated," said a writer who is not American, "nd I really hate to read it, and I never read it anyway." (Americans have felt this way for years.)

SPACE! The Guardian wants women to grow out their pubic hair like some kind of hairy mammal, whereas Elizabeth Lopatto wants us to send naked mole rats into space. ("Typical human behavior--our need for oxygen, our desire for physical space, our lack of queens who litter dozens of pups, our tendency to get cancer and feel pain--is absolutely standing in the way of sending us billions of miles into space to colonize the galaxy.") It's a good plan given that NASA needs to scale back on big, flagship $1 billion missions and deal with a mystery donut on Mars.

HERE! Here is little girl photographed working in a textile mill in 1908, her identity just now discovered, and here is a recipe for pigeon pie. Here are dad beers. Here is kangarooin a 16th century manuscript, and here is nun who gave birth. Here is a $28,000-a-night NYC hotel room and here are the children in Syria who are contracting polio. And here, finally, is 2003.

Today's song: Christine and the Queens, "Narcissus is Back"

Today's hobo puzzle: Can you solve the hobo puzzle?

~Never apologize and never explain--it's a sign of tabs.~

Today in Tabs had a great time at IRL Club last night, and would like to say hey girl to everyone I met and apologies to anyone I didn't manage to meet. You may receive your tabs by email, or alternately experience them in Surround-o-rama Newsweek-vision „. Doctors recommend you avoid doing both though, as a dangerously over-tabbed condition may result. Please, tab responsibly.

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