Today in Tabs: Outdoor Tabbing Starts Today

Hello flowers, hello May 1st Carlo Allegri/Reuters

It's the first of May! And you know what that means, right? Tech news! There's a new Snapchat on the way with texting and a video call interface that may have actually solved the "video calls suck" problem. Although you'll still have to hold one finger down on the screen, which will make it... limiting. For some uses. I'm told. Facebook announced a bold new effort to become the plumbing underlying a new connected app infrastructure., which is a necessary service and a terrific idea, and who has rightly earned more developer trust than Facebook? Foursquare, the app that tells people where you are like every other app but also doesn't do anything else, that your nerd friend still uses out of nostalgia, announced it was splitting into two apps, which will reportedly be called: "Swarm and @Quikster." Chrome is about to get rid of the URL so pretty soon we'll never be able to debug anything or help our parents find a website again, which is a mixed blessing. In response to yesterday's eulogy for Twitter, Charlie Warzel asks who we should believe: Twitter, or our lying eyes? I was surprised that Twitter is not the first thing The Atlantic has predicted the death of. In fact I'm starting to feel a little dissed that they haven't written my eulogy yet. And for tech headline of the day: Until We Fix Our Connected Homes, Hackers Will Keep Screaming At Babies. Orson Welles slow clap dot gif for that one.

I don't know how I ever did my job before I knew about this beautiful git documentation. Nimrod Kamer, as far as I can tell, just made up his assertion that the NSA can't read emoji. "Dropbox for physical objects" is literally a phrase Techcrunch just published in all apparent seriousness. But who am I to judge what you spend your $25 a month on? I don't even own a TV. And you may recall Mills Baker's great essay about design and leadership from last week. Well he posted some corrections and updates to it, including the phrase "if you think I'm a jerk, know that you're both right and not addressing the arguments" which just went to the top of my "What You Should Put On My Gravestone" list (attn. Atlantic eulogists).

The Critic Laughs

Katie Notoupolos got owned pretty hard when her story that FYAD got shut down by the Secret Service was debunked on Twitter. Other things that are bunk include Rand Paul's incredibly dumb idea (even by Rand Paul standards) that Bitcoin should be backed by stock values, which betrays a deep misunderstanding of literally every element of that idea, and also this Politico profile of Hillary that goes on and on but basically says she might not run for President because she's afraid of the big bad media. Reached for comment, Secretary Clinton replied:

Remember the girl who went on a three-week OKCupid date to Eastern Europe with no luggage? It turns out the guy she went with is a college professor who lives in a dumpster. A lot of you have scoffed, but that dude is living his best life. You go Jeffrey Wilson! And speaking of Glen Coco, it's the tenth anniversary of Mean Girls, and it turns out Glen Coco wasn't even a paid actor in the film. He auditioned but wasn't cast, and later just wandered onto the set looking for some lunch.

You know there are days in Tabs where nothing seems to fit together very well and I'm not really sure how to wrap everything up, so I find it's useful, on days like this, to

Today's Song: Joel Who Killz, "Bitcoin Baron"

NSFW, But: Come on, it's a good song.

~April showers bring May tabs~

Today in Tabs is still freezing, because spring in Maine is the worst. While I shiver, you can read us on Newsweek or email. I tweet @Rustyk5. I am @Rustyk5. [via tldr signoff] [via not owning a tv]