Today in Tabs: Put a Sock In It, You Tabless Wonders

How About We
The Kernel and Nerve both get acquired and Rep. Grimm threatens a reporter Betsie Van der Meer/Getty Images

The Daily Dot announced today that it is acquiring little-known UK tech blog The Kernel which has had a short but troubled existence, launching in 2011 only to shut down last March after stiffing contributors for more than £10,000. The Kernel was founded and run by a right-wing internet tough guy and person-shaped heap of self-regard named Milo Yiannopoulos, who assured me that all the contributors have now been repaid (as also reported in June by The Independent), before taking the opportunity to critique the tone of the question I didn't actually address to him. "I find it's best to ask polite questions," said the man who wrote and published a savagely misogynist editorial titled "Put a Sock in it, You Dickless Wonders."The Daily Dot reports that Yiannopoulos will will be leaving the merged publication soon, so it should improve tremendously, the way all things improve with his absence. This news demonstrates yet again that being an awful human being is no impediment to success, so I hope everyone who doesn't labor under Yiannopoulos's severe intellectual, ethical, and personality defects can take encouragement from that.

In Other Acquisitions: Dating site HowAboutWe bought Nerve and is becoming a media company somehow. Or "a full-fledged lifestyle media brand?" Federated Media sold to LIN Media, and another piece of the Internet of Olds becomes compost. HowAboutWe all just install this handy browser extension and pretend nothing exists on the web anymore?

Grimm Media News Lol Get It? Staten Island Republican Congressman and sterling example of appropriate naming Michael Grimm threatened NY1 reporter Michael Scotto on camera after the State of the Union last night, when Scotto tried to ask him about corruption allegations. "I'll throw you off this f**king balcony," snarled Grimm in front of the camera which, again, he had just been speaking into for broadcast television news and which was still quite obviously on. Grimm apparently makes this a habit, and his first attempt at an explanation was notably lacking in apology, but he has since apologized and made lunch plans with Scotto who will, one hopes, bring a video camera with a big sign hanging from it that says "THIS VIDEO CAMERA IS ON AND FILMING YOU RIGHT NOW" so we can all watch Grimm do something else stupid.

Today in Platforms: Medium closed a $25 million funding round (that's $20 million in Alexia bucks), and Svbtle is opvn to the rvbble, rather too late, now that Medium has comprehensively eaten its lvnch. I hope you'll all follow my new blog anyway.

Will This Tech News Never End? Fifteen years ago yesterday, Yahoo! bought Geocities for $3.6 billion. How do they keep accumulating the money to make the same mistakes over and over? Killer Robots, today in Adrianne JeffriesThe Whale of Dogecoin by Richard Nostrich-DewlapTwitter makes a tenth of a cent every time you refresh your feed (Hey look it's Heidi! Hi, Heidi!). What kind of internet addict are you?

Today in Cringing: Fedora ParkourTail MadeCraigslist Post HonestEvacuation ViolentDriver HappySwift AwkwardFace-Palmer.

People Are Still Mad About Macklemore: Dan Savage has some sound advice.

Bring back Brendan Fraser.

Today's Featured Event: Lunch hour with Sir Ian McKellen and Sir Patrick Stewart, February 18th in Manhattan.

Today's Song: Killer Mike & El-P, "DDFH"

~A rolling stone gathers no tabs~

Today in Tabs . . . @Rustyk5 . @TodayinTabs

minimalist kicker designed posthumously by Frank Lloyd Wright