There's a White House website that actually works: the 2013 National Thanksgiving Turkey games.
Don't worry, this is no death panel: Caramel and Popcorn, both male turkeys who enjoy pop divas, will be pardoned by President Obama on Wednesday.
Before then, you can vote online for whomever you think should be the National Thanksgiving Turkey. Do you prefer a more garbled gobble with longer notes (Popcorn) or a "quick, clear and frequent" call (Caramel)? A steady, deliberate walk (Caramel) or a proud strut (Popcorn)? Choose carefully, and may the gobble be ever in your favor.