White Milk In His Veins

Like most glam-rock gods, White Gold loves the white stuff. No, not the Bolivian marching powder—this guy gets high on milk. The dude drinks it mid-shred, right out of his transparent guitar.

If you've never heard of White Gold, it's probably because he doesn't really exist: he's the star of a new advertising campaign from the California Milk Processor Board. Imagine mock-rockers Spinal Tap shilling for Big Dairy in a naked bid to reach spin-savvy teenagers while they reach for sodas. "This struck us as the perfect way and the perfect tone," says CMPB executive director Steve James. "We're a bunch of middle-aged dairy guys. One guy said, 'I don't get it, and that's probably a good thing'." The question is whether White Gold can stop people from souring on milk. According to the Department of Agriculture, consumption slumped 14 percent between 1981 and 2006; in California, the price of whole milk has climbed 44 percent since 2003.

Already, White Gold has his own MySpace page courtesy of his creator, the ad firm Goodby, Silverstein. (Top friend: Foo Fighter Dave Grohl.) Two full-length videos of White Gold's oddly excellent songs "Tame the White Tiger" and "One Gallon Axe"—co-written by the real-life Detroit rock outfit Electric Six—are up on YouTube and will soon be available on iTunes. "Behind the Music"-style TV spots began airing two weeks ago, including one in which he reminisces about the time he replaced a broken guitar string midsolo with a lock of his nutrient-enriched tresses.

White Gold is a viral hit for the moment, but it may not have the timeless, malleable appeal of the iconic "Got Milk?" mustache campaign (which, by the way, isn't going away). No matter. To borrow his lyric, White Gold is "milk magical."