Abortion will undoubtedly be a major topic in this country's upcoming presidential election. I have argued constantly with my Right-wing Republican colleagues on television that abortion care is health care and not simply elective. I've pointed to cases like Kate Cox in Texas and Anya Cook in Florida, women who had wanted pregnancies but needed care.
But now I am making my plea from a more personal place, sitting in a hospital room staring at my wife as she lies with an IV in her arm, praying they will listen to my story.
My wife is like many of you. She is the Outreach Director at her church. She is a woman who always wanted a large family. And this week, abortion-related care protected her life and the lives of any future children we may have.
Two weeks ago, my wife and I announced to our friends and family that we were expecting our fourth child. We had just learned it would be a boy, giving us what I considered to be the perfect balance: two boys and two girls. Though the first ultrasound confirmed we were pregnant at seven weeks, we waited five more weeks before telling anyone to be certain everything was progressing well. In my heart, I had begun calling our growing son "Jojo."
And then tragedy struck. One week ago, my wife called me from work. She was sobbing. She told me she saw trace amounts of blood when she used the restroom. I reassured her that everything was okay, and that this had happened once with our second child. Though very light, the spotting continued, prompting us to make an appointment with her OBGYN. I was being seated and mic'd to tape my primetime cable news program when I received a text: "He's healthy and strong! The cervix is closed and no active bleeding that she sees." This text was followed by another one with a bunch of name suggestions from my wife's coworker. "He waved at me like saying 'hi mami we're okay," my wife texted.
Little did we know, Jojo was waving goodbye.
As the weekend progressed, so did the bleeding. It got heavier and darker. My wife began to sweat and to have severe chills. She is registered nurse, and we decided on Sunday morning to go to the emergency room. When we arrived, she was taken straight to Labor and Delivery, where the nurse performed a Doppler test and was unable to find Jojo's heartbeat. The doctor and radiologist both performed ultrasounds and gave us the devastating news that our pregnancy was no longer viable at 14 weeks. The medical term is a "missed abortion." We were allowed to go home after being told about the next steps and a procedure that would have to be performed in the coming days.
When we got home, my wife's illness continued. We took her temperature, which turned out to be 103.7. We returned to the hospital immediately for her procedure to remove Jojo and the infection.
While in the hospital, her fever was stubborn, despite receiving several antibiotics. Had we waited longer to go to the hospital or had the doctors hesitated in treating her, my children and I could have lost the most important person in our lives. Even a slight delay in treatment may have taken away our opportunity to have another child if we choose to.
I was always taught in times of crisis to count your blessings rather than your troubles. Jojo gave our family and friends five weeks of joy and excitement. My wife is currently recovering in the hospital bed next to me and receiving excellent care. I have three wonderful children at home and friends and family that are pitching in to care for them while we are in the hospital. We're blessed to be insured, so we didn't hesitate in going to the hospital due to cost.
But our experience is not an isolated one. Thousands of Americans suffer through similar tragedies. My wife and I both thought it irresponsible not to advocate for other families like ours in more restrictive states.
A family like ours in Idaho, Arkansas, Mississippi, Texas, or neighboring West Virginia may not have gotten the lifesaving care my wife received. In Texas and Oklahoma, our physicians may have hesitated in providing care, given that those states penalize healthcare providers who perform abortions. Traveling across state lines would have cost us precious, life altering time.
The stakes are high in this next election.
Former President Donald Trump claims to be in favor of exceptions for abortions for the lives of mothers, but also claims that those decisions should be left up to state officials, the vast majority of whom have never practiced medicine in any capacity. Whether a woman lives or dies should never depend on her address.
Trump's selection of J.D. Vance as a running mate was a wink and nod to the extreme anti-abortion movement. Vance supports a nationwide ban and is on record opposing important exceptions like rape and incest. He even wants to limit access to IVF fertility treatments, which help families grow.
Our nation cannot afford to go down that dark path.
For those reading this who may identify as pro-life, I am admittedly a partisan Democrat. But I believe most of you are sincere in your desire to protect life.
The next time you consider an extreme position on abortion, I would implore you to remember my wife, and how crucial reproductive health care proved to be for her. A church-going nurse who wants a big family, she could be your neighbor. Please don't imperil your fellow Americans. We should strongly advocate for women and families to make healthcare choices with the uncompromised guidance of their physicians.
Dr. Jason Nichols is an award winning senior lecturer in the African American Studies Department at the University of Maryland College Park and was the longtime editor-in-chief of Words Beats & Life: The Global Journal of Hip-Hop Culture.
The views expressed in this article are the writer's own.
