Goodbye 'American Idol,' We'll Miss Your Terrible Auditions
American Idol is over. On Thursday night, Trent Harmon became the long-running show's final champion, besting La'Porsha Renae in the series finale. Some of us will miss the mega-successful reality competition that left an indelible mark on popular music over the course of its 15 seasons. Most of us, however, will not.
But even for those of us who despised America's obsession with a show that prominently featured Ryan Seacrest, there was one element of Idol that even the haters could bask in: the terrible auditions. For all of the talented singers to give it their best in front of the judges, there were even more bad ones. Fortunately for lovers of unintentional humor, the bad of American Idol was really, really bad. Here's the show at its most mean-spirited and therefore, arguably, its best.
Mary singing "I Feel the Earth Move" by Carole King
From the contestant: "I have a very unique vocal style. It's like pop-rock meets Broadway meets jazz and R&B. It's a very unique combination of all the three."
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From the judges: "Honestly?... One of the worst I've ever heard in my life." -Simon Cowell
Nick singing "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers
From the contestant: "I'm a self-taught musician, mostly."
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From the judges: "One of the worst I've ever heard. It was almost non-human." -Simon Cowell
Keith singing "Like a Virgin" by Madonna
From the contestant: "I think I'm the next American Idol"
From the judges: "I think you're possibly the worst singer in the world." -Simon Cowell
Steven singing "BohEmian Rhapsody" by Queen
From the contestant: "I try to keep busy as much as possible. I don't watch that much TV."
From the judges: "I've heard some weird auditions in my life, but I've got to tell you that that is possibly the weirdest I've ever heard." -Simon Cowell
James singing "Go Down Moses"
From the contestant: "I think the judges will think my voice is unique. Something new, something different. It kind of sounds like Paul Robeson or Eddie Vedder."
From the judges: "C'mon man..." -Randy Jackson
Isadora singining "Lady Marmalade"
From the contestant: "I am a clairvoyant for a living. I read palms. I sound like Pat Benatar, Stevie Nicks, Janis Joplin."
From the judges: "It was fantastically terrible." -Simon Cowell
William singing "She Bangs" by Ricky Martin
From the contestant: "My major is civil engineers, which is totally unrelated to music."
From the judges: "You can't sing, you can't dance, so what do you want me to say?" -Simon Cowell
American Idol is dead. Long live American Idol.
