The Worst April Fools' Day Pranks: A Round-Up

April Fools
Translation: "Wherever The Voyage Leads You." Flickr/Wackystuff

The best way to deal with April Fools' Day is to avoid the Internet altogether.

But for those of us who work online, that's not an option. So we've taken the liberty of compiling the most unfunny, gratuitous or otherwise groan-worthy April Fools' jokes here. (For information on the Last Known Good April Fools' Joke, click here.) Add your own in the comments.

Ah, April Fool's Day. The day we set aside every year to learn how few people are qualified to work at The Onion.

— Linda Holmes Thinks You're Doing Great (@lindaholmes) April 1, 2014

The UVA paper's folly

April Fools' Day might be the worst day to work at a college newspaper. No one notices your half-hearted gags about the university president using a selfie stick, and if students do pay attention, it might be because they're outraged. The University of Virginia's paper, The Cavalier Daily, is 2015's worst offender. Apparently riffing on a recent incident involving an African-American UVA student's violent arrest, the newspaper published a joke story headlined "ABC Agents Tackle Native American Student Outside Bodo's Bagels." It has already been axed from the paper's website, and the staff has apologized to its readers.

Richard Branson goes to Branson

British billionaire and Virgin Group founder Richard Branson thought it would be funny to announce that his multinational conglomerate is moving its headquarters to Branson, Missouri.

Delighted to announce @Virgin is moving headquarters to Branson, Missouri #BransontoBranson

— Richard Branson (@richardbranson) March 31, 2015

Residents of the midwestern city (pop. 10,520)—or some of them, at any rate—didn't. "Not a funny joke," one resident tweeted. "We need actual good jobs here. And some outside influence to make that happen."

Newt Gingrich is bad at jokes, and bad at apostrophes

Actually Obama is good.

After a lot of thought i have changed my mind. President Obama has a strong, solid, thoughtful foreign policy we should all support.

— Newt Gingrich (@newtgingrich) April 1, 2015

Gotcha! That was a joke.

The previous tweet about President Obama's foreign policy is a sign it is April Fool's day.

— Newt Gingrich (@newtgingrich) April 1, 2015

(Okay, fine, putting the apostrophe before the "S" is sometimes acceptable.)

The Selfie Shoe

It's not that it's entirely implausible. In fact, it's actually pretty plausible! Please. Don't give the wearable techies any ideas.

Speaking of selfies, here's Honda...

...with an ad video for the HR-V Selfie Edition. "With 10 cameras across the interior and exterior, the HR-V Selfie Edition allows drivers to snap self-portraits while the car is in park." Let's skip the vehicle and institute a ban on April Fools' hoaxes involving selfies.

...and Motorola

BRANDS. Stop with the fake selfie products.

Gamergate and Gawker together at last

In a joke that seems designed to remind us that, yeah, Gamergate is still a thing, the Gamergate sub-reddit "KotakuInAction" has announced it's "partnering with Gawker Media to better serve our community needs." (It's a gag; Gamergate declared war on the blog network in October after an editor jokingly tweeted an endorsement of bullying.) Cue 277 comments, many of which seem to be variations on "hahaha I'm now a gawker journalist."

Satoshi Is Banksy? Banksy Is Satoshi?

The blandest April Fools' jokes are the ones that just sort of mash together names from recent headlines with minimal thought towards irony, cleverness or meaning. This Bitcoin News prank goes further, randomly combining names that were in the news a year ago. The result: "Renowned Graffiti Artist Banksy Reveals His Identity: 'I Am Satoshi Nakamoto.'"