People Who Knew Murderers Reveal the Red Flags They Missed

Finding out someone you know is a murderer is hardly a common occurrence, but one online discussion has amassed over 3,000 comments with anecdotes of exactly that.

Popular Subreddit, "Ask Reddit," often sees users ask relatively out-there questions, and this time, users who knew a murderer were asked to spill about the red flags they missed beforehand.

"People who knew murderers before they killed someone, what red flags didn't you notice at the time?" asked Reddit user white-cherries, specifying for "Serious Replies Only."

Answers revealed gripping details ranging from memories of "sociopath stares" to absolutely no red flags, making the news even more shocking.

"I worked with [a murderer] right up until the point he murdered his pregnant wife and their children. Can't say it was so much missed signs as signs that are even more disturbing in hindsight," wrote Reddit user Serenidade.

"On the surface he seemed like a polite, friendly guy, if a little awkward. He would make small talk with me in the office breakroom, almost always complaining about his wife and stress at home. He treated it like chit-chat but it was clear he couldn't stop thinking about it.

"When a mutual co-worker and I moved into a rental house together, he offered to mow the lawn. We didn't have curtains up yet and I was in my new bedroom putting clothes away when I realized he was outside, lawn mower running but just standing there and staring at me through the window. Creeped me right out," they added.

Reddit user Honigbiene_92 noted an experience with staring too, which a commenter dubbed the "sociopath stare."

Honigbiene_92 said, "A person I knew had attempted to murder someone, and something I noticed about them was their tendency to star at people they didn't like. They had done it a bunch in school and it was always really weird when you would catch them staring at you, they always pretended it never happened."

"My sister's fiancé murdered her," shared Reddit user backaritagain. "Red flags? Well, not really except he was suddenly into many things that my sister was into. Like 1000000% became his persona. He wasn't his own person as was super clingy and needy. Found out a few weeks before he killed her he was suddenly into guns. She wasn't. Tried to leave. Murder suicide."

One Reddit user's rat-based anecdote gained over 1,400 votes, detailing a neighbor who almost murdered people: "Not quite murder, but the guy in the apartment next to mine snapped and stabbed two builders and a dog, and went on the run. Everyone ended up being fine, though. The red flags started appearing one by one the longer I knew him. He ended up stalking me after I finally told him to leave me alone," they wrote.

"But after the stabbing, I was making chit-chat in the hall with the policeman who was put in charge of the stalking case. They were going through his apt for evidence for both cases and he just casually let me know that in the guy's bathtub, there were half a dozen dead rat carcasses that had had their brains bashed in with a hammer. My neighbor had always joked about if I ever saw a rat, he'd 'take care of it' for me."

Others, however, shared different experiences, with no red flags at all, pointing out how much more surprising it made it.

"Nothing," answered one user. "I would have told you he was truly one of the nicest, kindest guys I'd ever met. He was a regular customer at a place my sister-in-law bartended at. He was always nice, friendly, funny, a genuinely good guy. When the husband and I would visit the sister-in-law at work he'd chat with us like we were old friends. He obviously had a bit of a crush on her but she was involved and had a small child and he respected that. Never even hit on her. There were many nights he'd stay past close to help her clean up, take trash out, lug kegs for her. Sometimes they'd go over to the after hours bar with a couple other people.

"They got to know each other quite well over several years. Then one night her friend was at the bar and had too much so she couldn't drive. He offered to drive her home. My sister-in-law would never watch an impaired friend go out alone with just any customer but she never thought twice about this. In fact, she even thought it was so like him to offer... Such a nice guy!! She was happy her friend would get home safe...They found her friend's body the next day. She had been brutally raped and mutilated with multiple objects (I'll spare the details, but it was VISCOUS) then strangled to death. He apparently drove around with her body until almost sun up, not sure what to do with her when he decided to return to the bar. He dumped her body in the back alley next to the dumpster.

"My sister-in-law had to testify against him. In court it was brought to light that he had a history of violence against women. We were all absolutely shocked," they added.

Similarly, another Reddit user explained there had been "no clues" from the person they knew. "He was my friend's younger brother. Seemed like a little bit of an underachieving stoner but no warning signs of what he was capable of. Last memory of him was wrestling him for the last spare couch to crash on in the dwindling portion of a house party."

"He and one of his friends broke into the home of an elderly couple, slit their throats, and burned their house down to try to cover it up. All to steal their safe because they thought it had a bunch of cash in it. They were caught in a week. The worst part? This was a small town in Vermont. Town of hundreds. Everyone knew everyone. They played in the pool of the old couple during the summers as children."

Yellow police tape infront of police car
Shallow depth of field image taken of yellow law enforcement line with police car and lights in the background. A Reddit discussion detailed red flags people who knew murderers missed. Getty Images. Getty Images