Marc Peyser

Roswell - The Sequel

THE AIR FORCE HAS DECLARED VIC- tory over the aliens. Last week the military released a 231-page report that it hoped would finally bury the mother of all UFO stories: the Roswell Incident.

The Life Of The Party

RUPERT EVERETT INSISTS doesnt steal "Best Friend's Wedding" from Julia Roberts, and he s not someone you want to argue with. A few years ago, a woman found his performance in Noel Coward's "The Vortex" hard to hear.

Time Bind? What Time Bind?

SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE NO TIME for your kids, no time to sleep, read, cook, exercise, socialize--in short, no time to live? Well, wait a minute (if you can spare one), and get a load of this: a surprising book being published next month by two renowned time-study experts concludes Americans have more free time now than at any point in the past 30 years--an average of 40 free hours a week.

Thanks, Miss America

NOT EVERY MUSICAL inspires its own Pez dispenser, but then there aren't many shows like Jekyll & Hyde. During its 34-city pre-Broadway tour, Hyde used to slash the throat of a prostitute named Lucy and snap her head back, gushing fake blood onto her frilly white smock.

The Sultan Of Smut?

SHANNON MARKETIC FLEW TO BRUNEI last year to do some ""promotional'' work for the sultan. She'd done a lot of that kind of thing--inspirational speeches, ribbon cuttings--since being crowned Miss USA from California in 1992.

Battling Alzheimer's

THE WONDERS OF THE HOUSEHOLD medicine cabinet never cease. Millions of Americans already take an aspirin a day to help prevent heart attacks and strokes. Last week a study in the journal Neurology reported that ibuprofen--sold commercially as Motrin, Advil and Nuprin--may slow the progression of Alzheimer's disease, and perhaps prevent it altogether.

A Tragedy Yields Insight Into Gender

WHEN HE WAS 8 months old, in the late 60s, John suffered a terrible accident. A surgeon mistakenly removed most of his penis during an operation to repair some fused foreskin.

Revenge Of The Irish Lord

THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO DO not talk to reporters. Performers who have been dumped by famous shows. People who fire and sue their well-known manager. People whom the manager sues back.

Next Time, Donate Food

AMSTERDAM TOURISTS WHO get winded walking around the Van Gogh Museum, or find the Anne Frank House a tad depressing, probably won't like the city's latest attraction.

An Odd Way To Make A Point

A SLEEPY LITTLE BRITISH RESORT town catering to families should be happy for a little free advertising, right? Not if it's a pamphlet blaring "Why travel 6,000 miles to have sex with children when you can do it in Bournemouth?" While the Children's Society defends its distribution of 2,000 leaflets emphasizing that child abuse can happen anywhere, Bournemouth residents are outraged.

A Chief's Fiery Finale?

AS COPS BATTLED A TEAM OF BANK ROBBERS WIELDING assault rifles in Los Angeles last week, LAPD Chief Willie Williams rushed to oversee his force's dramatic and successful response.

What Beautiful Service

Key: A. ORGANIZATION B. COMMITMENT C. CHALLENGE A. Kiwanis International B. Engage 250,000 kids in 30 million- plus hours of service by year 2000 C.

A Startling Report

LAST WEEK'S STORY IN THE Dallas Morning News reporting that Timothy McVeigh admitted to his lawyers that he blew up the federal building in Oklahoma City sent shock waves through the defense and the prosecution.

Rosie's Midas Touch

OPRAH MAY SELL BOOKS, BUT Rosie O'Donnell can sell anything. Since her show's debut last year, Rosie's on-air product mentions have set off marketing bonanzas.

Climbing A Fairway To Heaven

GOLF MAY NOT FEEL VERY therapeutic after a triple bogey, but a school in Scotland plans to offer a course this summer on how to apply the pastoral pastime's Zenlike aspects to the game of life.

Profitable Indecision?

NEWT GINGRICH STILL hasn't paid his $300,000 Ethics Committee fine, and it looks like he won't settle up soon. An aide says Gingrich will take six months to study what method of payment is most "viable." The question is whether ethics rules allow Gingrich to use campaign or legal-defense funds, rather than his own money.

Woody's Newest Sidekick

THEY DON'T CALL IT A ONE-woman show for nothing. Three years ago, no one would produce Hazelle Goodman's comedy based on wise and wisecracking women she knew in her native Trinidad and her adopted home, New York.

Roots Network

WHEN DORIS DICKENSON decided to dig for her father's roots after her parents died, she had only one tool: the name and address of some cous- ins to whom her mother sent Christmas cards.

Staying On The Trail Of Jonbenet's Killer

TOM KOBY HARDLY looked like a guy leading the most intensely watched murder investigation since O. J. Simpson. Bearded, soft-spoken and wearing a blazer and colorful tie, Koby went on Boulder, Colo., cable TV to explain why the probe into the murder of 6-year-old JonBenet Ramsey seemed stalled.

A Body In The Basement

THE WAY PATSY RAMSEY TOLD IT, the horror began early on the day after Christmas. The Ramseys, a well-to-do family in Boulder, Colo., had a full holiday schedule, so Mrs.

Death In A Dumpster

AMY GROSSBERG WENT INTO labor just after midnight. She was in her freshman dorm room at the University of Delaware, in pain and terrified. She couldn't go to the hospital.

A Hot Wind Blows In From 'Chicago'

WHEN BOB FOSSE'S Chicago opened on Broadway in 1975, the critics called it grotesque, exploitative and gloomy. No wonder it looks so smashing today. A raunchy musical about women who kill their men and manipulate the media to get out of jail was ahead of its time 21 years ago.

The Lady Is Still A Champ

DIANA VREELAND ONCE ASKED A friend if she was wearing enough rouge It was a reasonable enough concern for a lady of a certain age, and especially for the woman who monitored the fashion thermometer for four decades as the legendary editor at Harper's Bazaar and Vogue.

Facing The Music

WILHELM FURTWANGLER didn't want to play at Hitler's 53d-birthday party, but how do you snub the Fuhrer? Furtwangler was Germany's premier orchestra conductor, and the truth is he could have said no the same way Toscanini, Kan din sky and Weill did: with his feet.

Sigourney In A Durang Harangue

SIGOURNEY WEAVER has mowed down galaxies full of aliens. It's time she got tough with a friend. The friend is playwright Christopher Durang, the godfather of Weaver's child and her best buddy since they attended Yale Drama School 25 years ago.

Pot Shots In The War On Drugs

DAN LUNGREN INSISTS THAT HE HAS a sense of humor. But when the buttoned-down California state attorney general got an eyeful of last week's ""Doonesbury'' series, his funny bone--and his temper--snapped.

Love In A Cold Climate

WHEN TOM SERGEANT BARGES in to Kyra Hollis's sloppy, freezing London apartment one winter night, the first thing she tells him is she's not guilty of anything. "Not guilty?

Backyard Bears

THE GRASS IS GROWING AGAIN AT Miriam Ungerer's house, which is something of a miracle. The wild ferns died long ago. So did five of Ungerer's pink Himalayan rhododendrons.

A Father's Sorrow

LESTER (JOE) CRUZAN fought for seven years to patch the hole in his heart, the grief no father should have to face. On an icy night in January 1983, his daughter Nancy's Rambler skidded off a road near Carthage, Mo., leaving her in a vegetative state with only a feeding tube to keep her alive.