Sarah Ball

Not The New York Times, but you're getting warm—the answer is the flagging paper's balance sheets. So says Daily Show correspondent Jason Jones, anyway, in segment of the show that tours the Times' newsroom and profiles "aged news," in part via a very uncomfortable sit-down interview with Bill Keller himself.

So now we know what crosses the line. If you eviscerate Gov. Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live, and compare her speechifying to beauty-pageant stumping, you can expect her to take it in stride.

DMB Still Sells Through. Dave Matthews Band snagged the third-best album debut of 2009 this week, rising to the top of the Billboard pop charts with Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King, which has sold 424,000 copies.

Efron to Take On Tony Manero? Zac Efron recently detached himself from the Footloose remake, his reasoning that he didn't want to be the cherubic Musical Guy all his life.

Last night, Mark Paul Gosselaar -- in character as Zack Morris -- committed to the Saved by the Bell reunion that Jimmy Fallon is attempting to orchestrate on Late Night.  (If you haven't seen the clip yet, immediately watch).

I postulated earlier that Land of the Lost may be Will Ferrell's worst-reviewed film in his career as a big-time leading man. Turns out, that's just about the kindest thing that's been written about the comedian this week: as the Los Angeles Times writes in a sprawling feature today, Hollywood views him as a guy whose "movie-star credentials should be revoked." Say what?!Industry insiders and studio execs sound off about Universal's dinosaur-sized failure in the story, which specifically cites...

Adam Lambert Comes Out -- and Says a Lot of Other Stuff, Too. In Rolling Stone's cover story this week -- a profile of Adam Lambert, runner-up of American Idol -- the rocker admits that he is gay, and moreoever, that he was semi-attracted to Kris Allen, his roommate and a "pretty" guy who is "totally [his] type."  But more interesting, he essentially admits he decided to try out for Idol after tripping on shrooms. [Rolling Stone via USA Today]The Gosselins Don't Beat Their Pets -- That Hard.

This morning's Mix gave you the dish on the weekend box office numbers as they were -- namely, with Up squeaking out a sliver of a victory over runner-up The Hangover.  But hold the presses!  The Todd Phillips-directed buddy flick -- for which we interviewed the supremely funny Zach Galifianakis last week -- actually took top honors once all cash was counted.  And they truly eeked it out -- the margin between the films is roughly $300,000 to $400,000, Warner Brothers estimated.  By the...

"Land of the Lost" Fails to Tempt. Not even Will Ferrell could save Land of the Lost from itself -- or is he the reason it didn't sell? The movie scratched together a mere $19.5 million, though it cost more than $200 million to make, distribute and promote.

The Associated Press is reporting a statement from Universal Studios that responds to the woman who claimshe was crippled during a scene of Brüno:The allegations made by Richelle and Lance Olson in their complaint are completely baseless.

You can check out our homepage spectrum of today's movie reviews for Land of the Lost, the Will Ferrell-toplined movie that's an adaptation of the 1970s dinosaur adventure-show.

 The whole time I sat through The Hangover, I could not stop wondering how the makeup artists made Ed Helms' missing tooth (see above, at right) look so real...

Gwyneth Paltrow was on Conan O'Brien's fourth Tonight Show last night, and typically, she showed off her toned stems (thanks, Iron Man 2 preparation) by wearing a scrap of wisp of a dress.  But while she attempted to dazzle the world with her wit and child-rearing tips (give 'em beer and Jay-Z -- really), bloggers and Twitter-ers were instead dazzled by her unnaturally shiny legs.  She was wearing sequins and her legs still had more sheen and blinding sparkle than her dress, for God's sake. ...

Nia Vardalos, the voluptuous star of the Oscar-nominated indie hit My Big Fat Greek Wedding, is not so voluptuous these days. Standing 40 pounds trimmer, she has also unwound her dark, corkscrew curls into softer, blonder Hollywood waves.

NEWSWEEK's movie mastermind David Ansen unpacks the history of the neurotic New Yorker--the peg being Whatever Works, Woody Allen's latest film and the director's cinematic return to NYC after a several-picture series in Europe.

Friends and family of actor David Carradine, who was found dead this morning in his Thai hotel room, are now saying that they dispute Thai authorities' pronouncement that the 72-year-old committed suicide.  Director Adam Rifkin -- who worked with the actor -- has said he "find[s] it extremely hard to believe that ... [this] was done in by his own hand."   Meanwhile, Carradine's mother-in-law Betty Fraser also disputes the suicide claims, saying that "he was a very strong person and I don't...

Stop me if you've heard this one: a guy walks up to a poster for The Hangover, takes one look and says, "Who the hell is that guy?" The answer is Zach Galifianakis, an absurdist, piano-playing stand-up comedian (and one of the "Comedians of Comedy") who looks kinda like the Brawny paper-towel guy.

Swayze's Television Show Gets Cancelled. A&E's The Beast, in which Patrick Swayze starred as a rogue Chicago FBI agent, has been cancelled according to Variety.

I've been fiddling with YouTubeXL today, and so far, it doesn't seem like there's enough TV-related content to abandon Hulu.However, it is a well-timed upgrade for clip-sharing site, given the deluge of highlights that are coming out of these highest rated NBA playoffs.

 If there's one thing I love about going on a Maine vacation with my family, it's heading to the movies.  The local theater's admission cards are ripped from a wheel of repurposed raffle tickets; the previews are slideshows of local homes and wildlife, and the movies are invariably a week (or three) behind urban America's release dates.

Depending on your comedic tastes, this is either the funniest or saddest story of the day: Fox News and MTV are reporting that a California charity worker who organizes weekly bingo for the elderly is suing Borat and Brüno star Sacha Baron Cohen, alleging that he beat her up, "crippled" her and caused the demise of her marriage in a bingo melee.

"Hamlet" to Become Modern Suspense Thriller. A contemporary, American-set version of Hamlet is in negotiations, and set to fill the title role with actor Emile Hirsch, who helped conceive the idea.  The project already has good cred: it'll be produced by Milk's producers; written by Philadelphia's scripter; and directed by Twilight and thirteen director Catherine Hardwicke. [The Hollywood Reporter]Is "People" in Cahoots With TLC?

New scoops about the new sequel to Wall Street, for a which a script'll be handed in this week, all per Nikki Finke. Just as the original leaned heavily on actual bankers to lend technical advice about finance culture and insider trading, so too will the second one, to be released in Febrary 2010.  A rundown of the key players, and what we can look forward to:Michael Douglas -- of course, reprising his role as Gordon Gekko.  This time he's fresh out of prison and disgraced, and telling...

Miley Climbs Aboard for More "Montana." While stars like Zac Efron have been busy distancing themselves from their kiddie-show beginnings, Miley Cyrus wants more.  The 16-year-old singer-actress just closed a deal with Disney to film a fourth season of her Disney channel show, .

Eminem is Uncomfortable with Bruno Bottom.  Right as I was thinking that I was too old for last night's MTV Movie Awards, Sacha Baron Cohen flew in and saved the day -- by apparently deeply offending Eminem.

It's Up versus Drag Me to Hell this weekend -- and with it, a fundamental question.  Are ya happy you bought a house? The (above-linked) trailer for Drag Me to Hell -- about a loan officer denying a mortage extension to an old hag, and facing the wrath of the underworld for it -- kinda looks like a tepid installment of Are You Afraid of the Dark?  But amazingly, the horror-thriller is currently tied with critical darling Star Trek for a 95 percent positive review rating on Rotten Tomatoes. ...

"Family Guy" -- Can It Break the Ceiling?  For the second year in a row, "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane will submit his animated comedy for a Best Comedy Emmy -- only this time, doing so makes him ineligible to submit the show in the animated category, as well.  His rationale: "We don't produce our show the that way SpongeBob does.

Because women's professional sports were in danger of being taken too seriously, our intrepid ladyfriends over at the LPGA Tour are "encouraging" their tour players to Twitter amid a round of golf.  As in, follow a putt for birdie with a Tweet about making birdie.

I only got to include a few choice quotes in the story we ran earlier about Pixar's knack for creating the teeniest, most delicately evocative moments -- but Jonas Rivera, an Up producer and longtime member of the Pixar fam, said a lot of interesting things in our chat.

We saw a sneak peek-let of Judd Apatow's summer comedy Funny People a while back, including some parts in which Jason Schwartzman, who plays an actor reduced to work in a bad network sitcom, brags about his enviable gig and steady paycheck to his unemployed comedian friends.  (Cue a riotous Jonah Hill take-down--is there any better kind?) Now, to virally market the upcoming film, there's an official YouTube channel and an NBC site for the fake show, called Yo, Teach!, a sarcastic riff on '90s...