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A video capturing a woman's astonished reaction to an eye-opening email reply about "professionalism" has gone viral, sparking conversations about gender expectations in the workplace.
Shared by Georgina Barker (@.ggeorgina), a 19-year-old from Scotland in the United Kingdom, the video has amassed 1.4 million views since it was posted on December 1. Barker is studying international relations at the University of Edinburgh and pursuing a career in politics.
In the video, Barker is shown standing inside an elevator, pointing her phone camera at a mirrored wall. A note overlaid on the video says: "My Roman Empire is when I rescheduled a meeting and apologized for the 'unprofessionalism' in my email. She replied, 'Don't apologize, professionalism is a product of the patriarchy.' I think she shaped who I am today."
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She told Newsweek: "I refer to that response as my 'Roman Empire,' which is like a Gen Z term for something that is really random, but it's something you think about all the time."
Noting that the email was received in November 2022 when she was 17, Barker said it's "something that has really stayed with me and I think about it a lot."
The video later reveals a screenshot of the email, which reads: "Hi. No need to apologize. A later start works fine for me. Changes are normal. The term unprofessional is a product of the patriarchy. Don't worry about it."
The viral post comes as a December 2019 study published in Career Development International found that "patriarchy shapes women's behavior in ways that undermine their performance and organizational citizenship behavior (OCB)."
The study found that "patriarchal attitudes, often practiced at home, are frequently transferred to organizational settings" and "this transference affects women's workplace behavior and maintains men's (self-perceived) superior status quo, whereby women are dominated, discriminated against and permanently placed in inferior positions."
Recalling how surprised she was by that email response, Barker noted: "I think I was quite naive to the dynamics of the professional industry and how to advocate for myself."
She said: "When you're just starting out in a particular field, for me politics, you feel the need to say 'yes' to everything, and that if you're not constantly available or being helpful, you might not be good enough.
"So, receiving her response was really nice to hear such reassuring words. She could've easily just dismissed me, but she was kind enough to give me that consolation."
'Impossible Standards'
Dacia DeRidder, founder of MissFit Coaching, told Newsweek: "Apologizing for rescheduling a meeting reflects our history of male-dominated workplaces. Men created these rules. Women were expected to be apologetic and submissive. This created unequal standards."
She added that women still face different expectations than men in the modern age. A man who reschedules is seen as "managing his time," while a woman who reschedules "often feels she must apologize."
DeRidder said: "Professionalism often becomes a weapon. It controls behavior. It creates impossible standards," noting that the email sender in the viral video recognized this problem and pointed out that "calling routine changes 'unprofessional' comes from old, biased thinking."
Sophia Trevenna, a life and business coach and author of The Power of the Divine Feminine in Business, told Newsweek that any situation where a woman is held to "a totally different standard" than a man for the exact same action would be considered a product of patriarchy. "Would a man say he was unprofessional or even apologize for rescheduling a meeting? Probably not," she noted.
Rebecca "Bex" Cockayne, a former diplomat turned life and career coach at Delphi Coaching UK, told Newsweek that patriarchies are "inherently hierarchical and maintain set power structures partly through devaluing the emotional and relational world of a person operating within them." She explained that "a traditional definition of what is professional often devalues an individual's needs, which might result in needing to reschedule a meeting."
Barker says women are seen as "annoying and inconvenient" if they're outspoken about their needs, "whereas I don't think men would feel that same pressure, likely because they haven't been subject to the same expectations."
The TikToker noted: "I had said that I had to reschedule our meeting, it wasn't unprofessional—it was simply just expressing my professional needs. Yet I was overly apologetic and anxious. In reality, it's okay to advocate for yourself."
Former attorney Rhia Batchelder, who is a certified anti-burnout career coach and corporate wellness speaker and consultant, told Newsweek: "Our current work culture and the expectations put on us by workplaces are absolutely set by the patriarchy."
The career coach notes that women are more likely to suffer from burnout than men, "in part due to standards of professionalism closely overlapping with traditional characteristics of masculinity."
Barker believes women have been "molded to feel the need to prove ourselves as 'nice' and 'helpful' in order to be accepted, valued, or even just taken seriously."
The poster says: "Showing vulnerability or expressing doubts—like rescheduling a meeting—could feel like a risk to your credibility or professionalism. And I think this stems from a fear of being labeled as 'difficult' and 'bossy' that are still disproportionately applied to women in the workplace."
'Love This Energy'
The email's powerful message resonated with many TikTok users who praised the response.
Liz Thompson simply commented: "WOW," while isabelnicolettefantin said: "Chills."
User thedonutlord28 described the reply as: "Simultaneously empathetic + badass in equal parts."
User @kelly_lane14 expressed: "I love this energy," and LizMcPick said: "That's amazing." Jayce's wife wrote: "What an icon, I hope I'll have a boss like her."
Brenda Lisa summed up the sentiment, saying: "May we find more human beings that have this mindset in our career pathways."
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