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By Rachael O'Connor
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Internet users are outraged on behalf of a woman who planned to announce her pregnancy at her wedding, only for her sister to get there first with her own news.
The bride, 29, who did not give her name but posts to Reddit under the username u/Exciting-Ideal8008, explained she got married three months ago, but her sister, 32, "managed to overshadow it in a way that I can't seem to move past."
She and her husband had been trying for a baby, and when they finally got the happy news that she was expecting, planned to announce it to friends and family at their wedding reception.
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But weeks before the wedding, the bride's sister told her she, too, was expecting—and "casually mentioned that she was planning to announce it at my wedding."
Etiquette expert Nick Leighton of podcast Were You Raised By Wolves? told Newsweek it's "generally considered impolite to make a major life event announcement at someone else's wedding." This certainly includes announcing a pregnancy.
"There are many etiquette rules around not upstaging the bride and groom—this is why we have that whole 'don't wear white' rule. Stealing the spotlight from them on their big day is rude," he said.
The bride admitted she was "shocked," and pleaded with her sister not to do this, even revealing that she was pregnant and was planning to announce it after the ceremony.
And while the sister "seemed a bit annoyed", she appeared to accept it.
But, the bride wrote in the post to r/AITAH on March 9, on the big day, right after the speeches, her sister stood, clinked her glass, and announced her pregnancy.
"The whole room erupts in cheers, and suddenly, my wedding turns into her pregnancy celebration," she wrote.
"I was stunned. I didn't even get the chance to share my own news because it felt like I'd just be trying to 'one-up' her."
Women choose different times to announce their pregnancies and for different reasons, according to Pampers. Common times for announcements are after the first trimester, first midwife appointment or first ultrasound.
Leighton told Newsweek the "bigger etiquette crime here," even more so than the announcement itself, is that the "sister had agreed not to announce her pregnancy yet did it anyway. Breaking this promise makes the whole thing way worse."
"I would love to see a genuine apology from the sister here," he added. "This was a serious etiquette crime and accountability is required."
However, the bride's sister wasn't apologetic, and instead the bride said she "acted like I was overreacting and said she just couldn't keep it in anymore. When I told her how hurt I was, she said I was selfish for wanting to 'control when people share their happiness.'"
The women's parents believe the sister was in the wrong, but have asked the bride to move past it to keep the peace. But she admitted she was unable to do so, and asked if she was in the wrong for "not letting this go."
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Reddit users responded in their droves, awarding the post 24,000 upvotes, and assuring her she was not in the wrong.
"Your sister hijacked your wedding after you TOLD HER you were announcing your own pregnancy. That's soap opera villain behavior," one shocked commenter wrote, as another called it "unforgivable."
Many responded with suggestions of petty revenge, with one writing: "Send her a bill for half the cost of the reception. 'Since you saw fit to turn my wedding reception into your pregnancy reveal, you can pay for half.' Then hijack her gender reveal with one of your own."
"I would absolutely keep my pregnancy a secret until one of her events, and then ruin it for her," another agreed.
Leighton himself stated that "whether or not this is a bump in the road or a relationship-ending event is up for them to decide."
He warned, however, that "depending on how the sister handles the apology can inform what sort of boundaries we need to place on this relationship moving forward."
Newsweek has contacted u/Exciting-Ideal8008 on Reddit for comment on this story.
If you have a similar family dilemma, send an email to life@newsweek.com with your first name and general location. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
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