Bride Scolding Cousin Visiting Husband's Grave On Bachelorette Trip Slammed

A bride-to-be has been slammed on the internet, after scolding her cousin for visiting her late husband's grave during her bachelorette trip.

The woman took to Reddit to share that she and her cousin had fallen out after she had told her that she can't just ignore the bachelorette trip's schedule to visit her late husband's grave.

The Reddit post says: "I'm getting married soon and went to New York for my bachelorette trip recently. There were eight of us including my cousin Hayley, who's one of my bridesmaids."

"We were only there for a couple of days and there were a few different things we wanted to do. I made early dinner reservations for everyone on our last night, and we were going somewhere else after," the woman wrote.

Woman at grave
Stock image of young woman standing at graveside of a deceased family member. The bride-to-be has been criticized for arguing with her cousin for visiting her late husband's grave. Getty Images

"Hayley mentioned that day that she wanted to go visit a cemetery to pay her respects [to her late husband]. I said okay but to be back in time to go to dinner," she added.

By dinner time, Hayley still hadn't returned to the hotel. The bride-to-be and her party called and messaged her, but she didn't pick up.

"She sent a text saying that she was running late and that she would meet us at the restaurant," the woman wrote.

Hayley eventually arrived, far later than expected.

"I talked to her later about being so late and managing her time better, Hayley made an excuse but I replied that this was supposed to be a girls trip," continued the Redditor.

The pair quarreled which resulted in Hayley becoming very upset. The group flew home the next day, with Hayley crying silently in her airplane seat. The two cousins haven't communicated since they arrived home.

The woman reached out to Reddit users to determine whether her behavior had been uncalled for or justified. The vast majority of commenters banded together to slam her behavior and hold her accountable for her unreasonable actions.

No mention had been made in the original Reddit post about whether Hayley had been triggered by the wedding celebrations, and whether that was why she had spent more time at her husband's grave than expected.

How Can You Effectively Communicate With Someone?

Patty Bates-Ballard is the founder of WordSmooth, a consultancy firm focused on teaching effective communication methods.

Bates-Ballard told Newsweek: "Differences of all kinds can be resolved through a three-step process called ACE: Ask, Clarify, and Express".

"Many times, relationships grow deeper through applying the ACE method," Bates-Ballard told Newsweek.

ACE, A Three-Step Approach To Healthy Communication:

1. Ask a curious question. The question slows down communication and draws the other person in. After the question has been asked, listen to the answer.

2. Clarify by restating what you heard and checking for the other person's feelings. These first two steps can open the window of communication. When we are open to listening first, the other person often becomes more willing to hear us.

3. Express what we feel, believe, and want. This way, we don't have to choose whose wants and needs to prioritize. Everyone's wants and needs can be explored and they can find a mutually satisfying resolution.

What Do The Comments Say?

The Reddit post was uploaded on January 31, under the woman's social media username @LateAtDinner. Since then, it's been upvoted 12,700 times and has received 2,900 comments.


"Show a bit of compassion and grow the hell up," the Redditor added.

Another user commented: "I was expecting OP to be like 21 or something. The fact that the OP is 30 and is trying to police when her 33-year-old cousin visits her dead husband is… best of luck OP".

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