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By Lydia Patrick
Life & Trends Reporter
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Chappell Roan's recent comments about parenthood have sparked a viral debate, with some moms jumping to defend against what they perceive as an attack on motherhood.
The "Hot To Go" singer appeared on the most recent episode of the "Call Her Daddy" podcast, and opened up about an array of personal topics, including her love life, career, and the prospect of marriage and children.
"All of my friends who have kids are in hell. I don't know anyone who's happy and has children at this age," she told the host Alex Cooper.
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The 27-year-old singer from Missouri referenced exhausted friends with children under five, saying she has not met any parent who is "happy, well-rested, or who has light in their eyes."
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The comments have divided social media, with some agreeing with Roan's perspective and others expressing frustration at what they see as a dismissive view of motherhood. Newsweek reached out to Chappell Roan's publicists for comment outside of their working hours and will update this article with any comment.
Many parents, in particular women, are posting videos showing themselves with their children, suggesting in captions and voiceovers that they want to show Roan that it's possible to be a mom and be happy, but others think this is missing the point.
Mariel Loveland (@mariel.mp3), a songwriter, whose TikTok take received 95,900 likes and 842,300 views, argued that moms face a lose-lose situation: that they cannot complain about the hardships nor celebrate the joy of motherhood without facing criticism.
"Mothers are not allowed to be complete people, and you get misogyny from both political sides," Loveland said. "If you express that you're really tired and you haven't slept in weeks, or that your toddler is, frankly, being a little wild animal because they're going through something, or even just that you're upset, that you can't do the things that you used to do, people paint it as if you have ruined your life and it's your fault."
She highlighted the double standards in how people perceive struggle, referencing her career as a singer and laborious tours where she could share her exhaustion and complain, whilst appreciating that it was a stepping stone towards her end goal.
Another response came from Chelsea Fagan (@faganchelsea), a writer and social media content creator in her 30s who has spoken previously about not want children. Her video garnered 66,700 views. She noted that while Roan's comments may have been insensitive in a far-reaching public forum, they reflect a sentiment commonly expressed by women who choose not to have children.
"She should never have made those comments, especially on such a large platform. Even if it's true, it was very tone-deaf," Fagan said. However, she also acknowledged the reality of Roan's perspective, particularly if she grew up in an environment where women "are going to be very heavily pushed toward motherhood and children."
"The internet never has any nuance, but I feel like it especially has no nuance on this topic," she shared. She argued that socioeconomic factors come into play, with many women from poorer backgrounds feeling disenfranchised by prescribed motherhood.
"I actually don't think video montages of aspirational, affluent women showing off the motherhood that they voluntarily and enthusiastically chose amongst a range of life choices does anything to counteract that reality," she said.
Users across social media continued to weigh in. Some pointed out a double standard in how similar statements from men are received.
"What she said was fine. Seth Rogen said pretty much word-for-word the exact same thing, and no one said a thing. People bash her views because of misogyny and homophobia," one user commented.
The actor said not having children made him more successful and happier in a 2023 episode of Steven Bartlett's The Diary of a CEO podcast.
Others supported Roan's candor. "I fully support her in what she said. Full stop. I find her candidness refreshing," said a user named Linda.
A 26-year-old single mom who posts as @plzdontbuythat amassed 860,800 views on her TikTok speaking on the subject and pointing out that Roan didn't aim her comments at moms specifically.
"First of all, she never said 'mothers.' She never said 'moms.' She said, 'All of my friends.' Go watch the video," she emphasized.
She shared her own experience of parenthood, acknowledging both its joys and struggles.
"I love my child more than anything in the world, and I get nearly zero breaks. There is typically about one night a month he goes and spends the night with my parents. And while I had been daydreaming about finally getting a break, I usually sit on the couch and cry because I miss him so much."
The Gen Zer said she was raised within Christianity and taught that having children was key to achieving happiness, but she did not learn about the hardships of motherhood.
"I was promised a village that I don't have. Nor do most parents," she said.
Yaron Litwin, a digital parenting expert and the chief marketing officer of Canopy Parental Control App, told Newsweek that Roan's comments may have come from a "classic example of self-selection bias."
"I don't know Chappell Roan personally, but almost none of us have a group of friends who are representative of as diverse a group as parents of young children," he said.
He added that while today's parents face new challenges from the proliferation of screens and online access, his experience doesn't jive with Roan's perception.
"We, as parents, are facing daunting challenges the likes of which our own parents did not have to contend with. However, most parents would not trade their kids for the world. I do believe that Chappell may have been overstating the attitudes of parents to raising children in this day and age," he concluded.
Roan rose to superstardom over the course of last year, when her 2023 album, The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess, gained new traction on social media. In the same interview, she disclosed she was in a relationship with an unknown woman.
Roan has sparked controversy before by calling out the behavior of fans and the media, which she had argued is overly invasive of her personal life.
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