Childless Woman Divides Opinion After Saying 'I Prefer Sushi' Over Having Kids

A childless woman has divided opinion online after revealing she would "prefer sushi" over having kids.

Posting under Noswellin to Reddit's popular Am I The A***** forum, she revealed she made the flippant remark in response to yet another question over when she and her husband were having children.

In the post, which has amassed 19,000 upvotes since being shared on Thursday, she confirmed she does like children, including her nieces and nephews.

Noswellin explained she and her husband were both in their early 30s and had been together for over a decade, and claimed over the years they had been repeatedly quizzed on the subject of children.

She said they made the decision not to have them "for our own reasons," and her husband has gone as far as to have a vasectomy, which only a few people knew about.

Despite their families being aware of their position, she says it didn't stop them asking questions at "major life events," which she said included when they "bought our first home, at our engagement dinner, at our wedding and at holidays before."

And the subject reared its head once again at the housewarming they threw after buying a three-bed home with "a nice yard in a nice area," although they didn't reveal the location.

They invited friends and family, and it wasn't long before her husband's brother, Alex, made comments about how kids would enjoy the space.

"Eventually they asked point blank when we were having kids," Noswellin said.

Instead of being blunt, Noswellin says she tried to brush it off in a jokey manner, explaining: "I made a light-hearted joke about it, which is my go-to for this question. 'Oh, well, I like sushi too much to have to give it up for a pregnancy. Plus not drinking for pregnancy and breastfeeding? No thanks!' I tried to make it very light hearted and laugh it off. Most people just laughed along.

"That seemed to anger Alex and I was told 'children are a joy, and a good mother puts her kids before everything else.' I agreed, 'children are a joy, I like spending time with the nieces and nephews, and obviously I can't be a good mom if I chose sushi over kids so I just won't be a mom' (paraphrased).

"Still trying to brush it off in a gentle way because I'm not trying to start a fight by telling them to stop asking in front of everyone because I know my tone will be seen as rude and abrasive."

But he didn't quit, as Noswellin continued: "Alex is still annoyed and making little comments in their group about how flippant I am about it and how when it finally happens, then I'll understand."

Her husband also made light of the situation, joking: "Well, if she gets pregnant, that'll be a problem for the divorce lawyers."

Although she says that "p****d them off more." As a result, she realized they hadn't been invited to Alex's annual Halloween bonfire.

When bringing it up with her in-laws, her husband's mom said: "Alex was annoyed we were so careless and callous about our childfree status and to say what we did and they realized we had taken permanent steps to ensure we never had kids."

Noswellin explained Alex and his partner had to go through fertility treatment, which is likely why it was such a sensitive topic for them.

She added: "I feel bad because they did do IF and lots of fertility treatments to have their kids, and even then they still had a few miscarriages. I can't imagine wanting kids and struggling to have them and then deal with miscarriages. But at the same time, I'm so tired of justifying living my life how I want."

The incident, and her position, has divided opinion online, as Not_cinderella wrote: "Way too many kids in foster care to force women to give birth to children they don't even want. This thinking makes me sad."

MyFaceSaysItsSugar reckoned: "It's so incredibly rude and insensitive to either adults who want or don't want kids. What if you're asking someone who just found out they're infertile or just had a miscarriage? The question is incredibly invasive."

8bitterror pointed out: "Also, Alex knows what it's like to have fertility problems—for all he knows, OP might be infertile and just using humor to deal with the fact she can't have kids. He didn't stop to think how upsetting and triggering he might have been."

Specific-Quick thought: "NTA.... But if I were Alex and the family with Kids, I'd probably stop being around you."

SilliusSoddus reckoned: "NTA, but like so many threads here, this could have been handled so much better. Kids are a serious business to tons of people, so joking about it is not a social win unless you're certain you're in like minded company. (akin to joking about religion or something.)"

OneMikeNation said: "NTA at all but I would say you kinda need to know who you can joke around with in certain situations. If you knew Alex and his wife struggle to have kids making jokes about it might have seem offensive to him. Than even when you noticed he was upset you doubled down on the jokes.

While Jammy913 added: "NTA. Just be careful what you say where your nieces and nephews could hear you because they may totally misunderstand your joking intentions."

Newsweek reached out to Noswellin for comment.

File photo of women eating sushi.
File photo of women eating sushi. A woman has sparked debate after claiming she'd rather eat sushi than have children. LightFieldStudios/Getty Images

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