Commenters Stunned After Husband Calls Wife a 'Downer' Amid Cancer Scare in Viral Post

One woman's upsetting situation has captured the attention of readers—and now, the online community is rushing to offer her their advice and support. Shared in Reddit's "Am I the A**hole" forum on Tuesday, the post detailed an unnamed woman's possible cancer diagnosis—as well as her husband's subsequent anger, for reportedly "ruining" his graduation celebration with her emotional state. The post has garnered thousands of upvotes, but the real action is found in the replies, where the top-voted comment alone has received over 17,000 upvotes.

A cancer diagnosis—or even the possibility of it—can put strain on a relationship. While studies on the subject are relatively scarce, research on heterosexual relationships conducted in 2009 found that relationships where a woman is diagnosed with cancer or multiple sclerosis are six times more likely to end than if their male partner had been diagnosed with the same disease. In other words, the rate of separation or divorce for women who were sick was 20.8 percent—but if the roles were reversed, and the man was sick, there was only a 2.9 percent chance that the relationship would end.

According to the Redditor, a woman in her 30's known only as u/whysuchabuzzkill, breast cancer runs in her family—so when her doctor found a lump during a recent routine screening, they expedited her biopsy and scheduled an appointment for her later that day.

Meanwhile, her husband was at a bar with his college classmates, celebrating their graduation. He reportedly told her that "significant others weren't invited."

However, given the deeply upsetting news, she decided to meet him at the bar. "It was going to be a few hours before they could see me as they were doing her a favor and it was obviously short notice," she wrote. "I was a crying mess, so my husband reluctantly agreed for me to come [and] wait with him at the bar for my appointment time."

"I got to the bar, introductions were made and although I was quite scared, I felt I was nice to everyone and as talkative as I could be," she explained. Once it came time for her biopsy and mammogram appointment, she left her husband and his friends at the bar. "It was terrifying, but my doctor was great and a nurse held my hand through it all," she said.

But when she returned home, her husband "was pissed."

"Apparently I offended his classmates because I was standoffish and rude to them," she wrote.

According to the Redditor, her husband described her appearance at the bar as "just an overall downer that brought down the mood of the celebration." She added: "He said I embarrassed him and he regretted having me join them."

"I now feel terrible like I ruined his day to celebrate with his friends and maybe should have just kept the situation to myself so as not to bring him and them down," she concluded.

Commenters were quick to criticize the husband's behavior. "You discovered something possibly life threatening and at least life altering, and instead of your husband staying at your side and [helping] you through this experience, he [chose] to go to a celebration? And 'let' you wait with him in the bar before scary exams? And then had the audacity to be mad about your mood?" asked u/Ikaryas in the thread's top-voted comment. "Holy cow girl, this calls for some serious conversation between you two but honestly? I see red flags all over."

The replies poured in and the post gained significant traction in the forum—and soon, the original poster, u/whysuchabuzzkill returned with an even-more-alarming update. According to the Redditor, one of her husband's classmates, a woman who was also present at the celebration, saw her anonymous post and quickly "put two and two together." This woman revealed to u/whysuchabuzzkill that her husband had been leading everyone to believe that they were getting divorced—and he apparently used the lie to have an affair with the woman who reached out.

"This has been going on for almost the entire length of the program he is in," explained the Redditor. "I confronted him. I'm livid. I'm nauseated...He planned on leaving me once he graduated because he wouldn't need me anymore. Me possibly having cancer threw a wrench in the plan. He is unapologetic."

With that update in mind, commenters have doubled down on their support of the Redditor. "Feel all your feelings. Cry, grieve, rage. Get therapy," offered u/Rare-Neighborhood271. "But also, you are now free to start imagining the glorious new life you have ahead of you, the one you deserve."

"This poor excuse for a man does not need to be your life," echoed u/The_RoyalPee. "I know this is a really scary prospect...but you will feel so free after. He is an abusive liar and cheater that you don't need hanging around."

Newsweek has reached out to u/whysuchabuzzkill for comment.

Lung Cancer
After a cancer diagnosis, a Redditor explained that she was considered a "downer" at her husbands' graduation celebration. A lung x-ray of a cigarette smoker. American Cancer Society/Getty Images