Husband Planning To Attend 3-Day Work Festival When Wife Sick Backed Online

A mother ill with COVID-19 who wants her husband to forgo a three-day music festival for work to look after their teenage daughter, who has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), has been condemned by users on Mumsnet.

In a post shared on Mumsnet's Am I Being Unreasonable (AIBU) forum under the username inigomontoyahwillcox, the mom said she has "a really nasty bout" of the virus that's infected over 567 million and killed over 6.3 million globally, explaining: "I feel like death warmed up and can only just about get myself to the loo [toilet]."

Before getting COVID-19, the wife said the couple were to be "doing something with our small business at a music festival."

A woman upset man leaving with suitcase.
A woman looking upset with elbows on a table, while a man waves goodbye next to a suitcase in the background. iStock/Getty Images Plus

She said: "It's a really good opportunity for the business" and "there's no question" as to whether her husband should attend the event, as he is "[COVID-19] negative and well."

However, "essentially, he's attending the festival from Thursday lunchtime to Sunday evening with about three hours of work to do on the Friday," she said, noting: "I wouldn't dream of leaving him for three days with DD [dear daughter] if he was feeling as rotten as I am."

She explained: "If it was just me at home, I would be very much in favor of him being out of the house," she said, but their 14-year-old daughter needs "ferrying around and looking after to an extent" due to her ADHD.

"We've had a couple of incidents at home with her leaving the gas hob on (both lit and unlit) recently when making herself food—so she does need more supervision than your average 14 yr old," she added.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says those with ADHD may have trouble paying attention, controlling impulsive behaviors (acting without thinking about what the result will be) or be overly active.

While it is normal for kids to have "trouble focusing and behaving at one time or another," for those with ADHD, these symptoms "can be severe, and can cause difficulty at school, at home, or with friends," the CDC warns.

A child with ADHD may "make careless mistakes or take unnecessary risks," among other behaviors, the federal health body says.

Several other Mumsnet users said the mother in the latest post was being unreasonable, claiming that a 14-year-old should be able to look after themselves.

User Seeline said: "I would've thought at 14, even with [ADHD] she would be able to sort most things with instruction. If her [ADHD] is more severe, then tell your DH [dear husband] not to go?"

User BloodAndFire wrote: "14? Even with additional needs that you've described, you are being really unreasonable. She's not a toddler who needs to be taken to the toilet etc."

User elenacampana agreed, stating: "Your daughter is 14 so you YABU [you are being unreasonable]. I take into account that she has additional needs but don't think something like leaving the hob on warrants so much supervision, any 14yr old could make that mistake. She won't be in the house alone, you'll be there as well and that should be enough, even if you're under the weather."

RubyandPearl said: "Sorry I think YABU. Its bad timing and I appreciate you're feeling pissed off about it, but I don't think everyone should suffer because you are ill. Hope you feel better soon."

Some were more understanding of the wife and said the husband was "being selfish."

User Nanny0gg said: "He doesn't need to go for the whole time he's obviously wanting the social bit. If he refuses to stay, get lots of ready meals in and sadly your dd [dear daughter] will have to stay at home. But I think he's being selfish."

User hoorayandupsherises chimed in, saying: "I would expect him just to go for the work-related bit of the event, coming back on the Saturday morning perhaps, if there's a late night or lots of driving involved."

The same user said they had COVID-19 before, explaining: "I got worse before I got better, so would have been worried about coping with another person to look after..."

User LaughandGiggle appreciated the 14-year-old would require more attention, as "due to her ADHD, she will need an activity to burn off that excess energy but probably needs supervision when out and about...Plus, I think that he shouldn't be going on a jolly when you're feeling so rough."

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