10
Loading video...
By Daniella Gray
Reporter
0
Share
Newsweek is a Trust Project member
See more of our trusted coverage when you search.Prefer Newsweek on Googleto see more of our trusted coverage when you search.
Disapproving of your children's friends in an effort to curb their bad behavior can have an adverse effect, according to research.
The newly released study, published in The Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, showed that parents who prohibit friendships, particularly mothers, can worsen the child's behavior rather than improve it, as it may harm their social standing and lead to greater adjustment difficulties.
Researchers led by Brett Laursen, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Florida Atlantic University, followed 562 middle school students aged 9 to 14 over the course of an academic year.
Read More on Family & Parenting
...
They measured peer status (whether children were liked or disliked), classroom disruptiveness and conduct problems through peer nominations and self-reports. They also examined the impact of maternal disapproval of friends on the students' behavior.
The statistics revealed that when moms intervened this way in response to conduct issues, they inadvertently made the situation worse, with the disapproval leading to a decline in the child's peer relationships.
This alienation from classmates increased the child's behavior problems, exacerbating the very issues mothers were trying to prevent.
The study also found that maternal disapproval was more likely to lead to classmates actively disliking the child, rather than simply distancing themselves. As peer status declined, behavior problems intensified due to increased distress and a lack of coping mechanisms.
Additionally, children rejected by their peers lost opportunities to develop important social skills, further hindering their emotional and social development.
Dr. Alexandra Stratyner, a New York-based psychologist, emphasized the dangers of isolating children from their friends.
"The potential consequences of social isolation when dealing with behavioral problems are unintended and unfortunate. Social relationships, particularly friendships, are essential for a child's emotional and social development," she told Newsweek.
Stratyner explained that friendships play a crucial role in identity formation and social learning during adolescence: "Punishment that involves banning friendships as a form of discipline can easily backfire because peer relationships—especially during the teen's years—are a source of identity, attachment and social learning. When these bonds are severed, children can become isolated, and this can result in amplifying their frustration and increasing misbehavior," she said.
Instead of interfering with friendships, Stratyner advises that parents focus on building strong relationships with their children.
"It would be more helpful for parents to make their relationship with their child/teen the focus of their parenting, as support and opportunities to teach and model the values of the family system are more effective in guiding children toward healthier pastimes and friendships," she said.
The study also recommended creating opportunities for children to engage with peers in supervised, constructive settings, such as adult sponsored clubs or activities, which allows children to build friendships while minimizing opportunities for delinquent behavior.
References
Kaniušonytė G, Laursen B. Maternal disapproval of friends in response to child conduct problems damages the peer status of pre‐ and early adolescents. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 2024; Published online first: September 4, 2024. doi: 10.1111/jcpp.14043.
View 0 Comments
Submit Correction
View Editorial & AI Guidelines