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By Jack Beresford
Senior Reporter
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A dad was reviewing his son’s math homework assignment when the unexpected appearance of two words, scribbled in pencil, stopped him in his tracks.
Reading the words back to himself, Dave Robbins, a dad of two based in Phoenix, Arizona, felt compelled to share a picture to Reddit under the handle u/MemoirDad.
Robbins has always drilled into his kids the importance of expressing their emotions in healthy ways. "I always tell my kids they can feel whatever they need to feel—but I expect them to use words when expressing it, rather than tantrums," Robbins told Newsweek.
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His son had certainly done that and, in the process, had given his dad pause for thought.
Learning to manage and express emotions in a measured way is an important part of growing up. It can also play a crucial role in education. In 2007, a study published in the Journal of School Psychology found children who are able to manage their emotions are more likely to do well in school and get along better with peers.
When Robbins had first sat down to look through his son’s work, he hadn’t expected what he read to have such a significant effect on him.
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Up until that point, his evening had been filled with what he describes as the "usual kitchen chaos" you would associate with trying to organize two young boys.
"My son was sitting at the counter on a stool, his older brother had a YouTube video about Minecraft blaring from the next room," Robbins said.
With dinner nearly ready, he turned to his youngest son with a request he knew was unlikely to be well received. "I told him it was time to pause his Lego build for homework, which, in his mind, was an act of war.," he said.
Robbins urged his son to express how he was feeling. "I could tell he was mad, and asked if he could tell me why, but he didn’t want to talk," he said. "I could see the storm brewing."
In a flash, his son picked up a pencil and, "without saying a word," pressed it into the page in a space above the math problem assigned as homework. "Then, calmly, methodically, he did the math problems underneath," Robbins said. "When he finished, I told him I appreciated that he told me how he felt using words. He looked at me dead serious and said, ‘So, can I please go back to my Legos then?’"
A little while later, Robbins took a closer look at what his son had written. In the space above the math problem were two simple words written in block capitals: "I’m mad."
Robbins had seen his son writing those words at the time, but reading them back again, in the cold light of day, he was struck by a sudden emotional realization.
"He’d done exactly what we’ve been working on," Robbins said, "expressing frustration appropriately, even if the delivery was a little emphatic." The dad has always been a firm believer in the idea that homework is "less about getting the answers right and more about learning to pause fun for responsibility."
It is something Robbins believes every child has to understand in order to grow and develop. "For the lesson stuck," he said. "He used his words, and I got a photo that perfectly captured the beautiful absurdity of parenting."
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