King Donald Trump? Jimmy Kimmel Has a Plan for the 'Unhinged' President

Jimmy Kimmel
Forty-seven percent of surveyed voters said they trust late-night host Jimmy Kimmel more on health care issues than Republicans in Congress. Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Shortly after President Donald Trump plugged his Charlottesville, Virginia, winery to close Tuesday afternoon's freewheeling, Nazi-defending press conference, Molly McNearney, a head writer on Jimmy Kimmel Live! (and wife of the show's host), provided some insight into what the next few hours of her life, and the life of anyone else working for a late-night TV show, would be like.

My condolences to all the other late night writers and hosts out there who just had to throw away tonight's monologue and start over.

— Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) August 15, 2017

And so, a day after late night roundly criticized Trump's delayed, unacceptable response to what transpired in Charlottesville over the weekend, hosts once again carved out time to address the president's latest wild address to the media. Jimmy Kimmel dedicated over 12 minutes at the top of his show to not only taking a few jabs at Trump's presser, but also asking how we ended up with this former reality TV show host as president, and suggesting a possible solution to the unmitigated disaster of his presidency.

"I feel like I can say this with reasonable certainty," Kimmel said near the top of the monologue. "The president is completely unhinged. The wheels are off the wagon and hurtling toward the moon right now."

After showing a few clips and landing a few jokes about Trump saying he needs to know the facts before making a statement, Kimmel dismantled Trump's argument that some of the protesters were "very fine people."

"Here's the thing," Kimmel said. "If you're with a group of people chanting things like 'Jews will not replace us!' and you don't immediately leave that group, you are not a 'very fine person.'"

Trump's press conference on Tuesday was so shocking, more so even than his comments on Saturday, that it called for a little reflection. How did we get into the mess? Kimmel had thoughts.

"I want to speak to those who voted for Donald Trump," Kimmel said. "I get it. I actually do. You were unhappy with the way things were going. You wanted someone to come in and shake things up. You didn't want business as usual. Nothing ever seems to get done. It's always the same. These candidates make a lot of promises that go nowhere. It happens over and over again. You're sick of it. So this guy shows up, riding a golden escalator. He's not part of the political establishment. He's the opposite of that. He's a billionaire, maybe. He's written books. He's not politically correct. He's not even correct, usually. He talks tough. He wants to drain the swamp. He can be funny. He rips into his opponents in a way politicans have never done before. You were like, 'You know what? This guy's different. Let's roll the dice. Let's get him in there, have him run the country like a business, cut the dead weight, toughen everyone up. Let's shake this Etch-a-Sketch hard and start over.'"

This is what likely a large portion of Trump voters were thinking when they chose him last November over Hillary Clinton, an establishment, career politican, who, Kimmel jokes, "ran for president of her mother's uterus."

Related: Six incredible quotes from the president's wild Charlottesville remarks

What happened after Trump took office, as Kimmel recounts, did not inspire so much hope.

"He gets in there. He hires his daughter, he hires his son-in-law, demands an investigation of voter fraud even though he won the election. He calls the prime minister of Australia and hangs up on him. He won't shake Angela Merkel's hand. He doesn't know Frederick Douglass isn't alive. He claims he can't release his tax returns because they're under audit and then says he's not going to release them at all. He signs a ban on Muslims that he claims isn't a ban on Muslims. He compliments the president of the Phillippines for murdering drug addicts. Hours after a terror attack in London he starts a fight with their mayor. After critcizing Obama for playing golf he plays golf every weekend. He accidentally shares classified intelligence with the Russians. He tweets a typo at midnight, then wakes up and claims it was a secret message. He praises Jim Comey in October and then calls him a coward in June. He fires him. He lashes out at his own attorney general for recusing himself from an investigation. He hires the Mooch. He fires the Mooch. He bans the transgendered from the military without telling anyone in the military he's doing it. He plays chicken with Kim Jong Un."

"That's just some of the list," Kimmel added. "If I went through all of it it'd be longer than the menu at the Cheesecake Factory. It'd be huge. He is, by every reasonable account, a total disater. He screws up royally every day. Sometimes two or three times a day. We can't keep up with it. Things come out of nowhere. Every day there's something nuts. You try to ignore it, because you don't want to admit to these smug, annyoing liberals that they were right. That's the last thing you want to do. But the truth is that deep down inside you know you made a mistake, you know you picked the wrong guy. It isn't getting better, it's getting worse."

So what should we do? As Kimmel notes, Trump is never going to resign. His ego is too big. So how about we make him king? Queen Elizabeth II has no actual power in Britain. She just lives in a palace and gets a lot of attention. She can do whatever she wants and act however she wants, and it's not going to affect the welfare of the country.

"That's what we need to do with Donald Trump," Kimmel said. "We need to set him up in a castle, maybe in Florida, lead him to the top, and then lock the door to that castle. Forever."