...
By Soo Kim
Reporter
0
Share
Newsweek is a Trust Project member
See more of our trusted coverage when you search.Prefer Newsweek on Googleto see more of our trusted coverage when you search.
A post about a house guest who "got chewed out" for lighting a match after using the bathroom during a bout of diarrhea has gone viral.
In a post shared on Reddit, user AmITheeA** wrote that they were staying in the home of their boyfriend's parents. One night, they woke up from their sleep because they had diarrhea.
"I lit a match when I was done, ran it under water and folded it up into some aluminum before throwing it in the garbage. I fell back asleep and was woken up a while later by a big commotion. My boyfriend's dad smelled burning and thought the house was on fire so he woke everyone up in a panic and searched the house to see what was burning," the poster explained.
Read More
Fury at Man Demanding Girlfriend With Cancer Prep His Meals: ‘Leave’5 min read
Anger as Woman Criticizes Her Mom for Choosing ‘Very Poor’ Boyfriend6 min read
Man Forcing Girlfriend To Do More Housework as He Wants To ‘Relax’ Dragged4 min read
...
The poster wrote that they "got chewed out" by their boyfriend's dad for "lighting matches at night or lighting matches in general as a guest in their home." His mom was also upset, saying that the poster could have "started a fire" and "nobody would know."
The poster explained they apologized. However, their boyfriend later allegedly "lectured" them about "embarrassing him" and "playing dumb" by pretending to be unaware of what his dad smelled and not using "common sense."
Is the family overreacting? Or are their concerns about the fire hazards valid?
According to an October 2021 home structure fires report by the National Fire Protection Association, a U.S.-based international nonprofit, most home fires and fire casualties from result from one of five causes. These include cooking, heating equipment, electrical distribution and lighting equipment, intentional fire setting and smoking materials.
From 2015 to 2019, small open flames (which includes matches as well as lighters and candles), along with operating equipment and smoking materials, were among the three leading categories of heat sources associated with home-fire deaths and injuries.
These three categories combined caused the fires that led to around three-quarters of the total home-fire deaths (74 percent) and injuries (75 percent) in the same period.
Lighters, candles or matches were found to be the heat source in an average of 25,100 home structure fires per year. They caused an annual average of 320 deaths, 1,480 injuries and $565 million in direct property damage, according to the report.
The user in the latest Reddit post wrote they always get diarrhea when they visit this home. In a later comment, the poster wrote: "I get sick there because of the food. They [the boyfriend's family] do things like leave meat out on the counter all day to thaw and they don't put all the leftovers in the fridge and if they do it's not done quickly enough and there's just a lot of cross contamination and stuff with raw meat."
During their last visit, the dad asked his son to ask his partner to stop using "strong essential oils," as it was making the father feel sick.
The user explained that they spoke to their own mom about the dilemma and she suggested using matches, which "actually work pretty well."
The poster said they "didn't immediately equate a match with a house fire" and didn't smell anything when they woke up, so "didn't bring up" the fact that they had lit a match.
The user explained: "It wasn't even clicking for me that the match was what he smelled until my boyfriend asked me if I smelled anything when I got up earlier to use the bathroom.
"I'm just laying here getting madder and madder...I don't feel like I did anything wrong..." the poster wrote.
'Trying to Do the Right Thing'
A fire is "never to be taken lightly," etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts told Newsweek. But diarrhea is also "no laughing matter," since it is "uncontrollable and can lead to other health conditions such as dehydration."
Grotts said that the poster was "embarrassed and trying to do the right thing without waking up the household."
The fact that the family got upset is "absurd," especially when the poster explained what happened. "At that point, they should have been relieved; not brought insult to injury," Grotts said.
Family Disagreement 'Not Always' Bad
John Sovec is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in Pasadena, California. He told Newsweek that "the very real complicated interactions between various family members can lead to disharmony, instability, and friction."
Each family member is not just an individual but rather a part of a family system. When a new person enters this, they often aren't aware of all "the rules and undercurrents" that may exist in the family dynamic, Sovec said.
The best approach is to ease into the family system and learn from each member how they interact. As you "learn the dynamics" in the family, you can also learn to set your own boundaries and communicate your needs as "an effective way to build a better relationship," Sovec added.
Is it a bad thing to experience disagreement in the family? "Not always," he said. How a family heals from disagreement can "set the tone for future interaction between all parties involved."
'You Should Not Go Back There'
Several users on Reddit sided with the original poster. Many criticized the boyfriend's father and advising the poster should no longer visit the parents' home.
In a comment with 35,400 upvotes, user imothro wrote: "I think you get diarrhea at these people's home because it's an incredibly stressful environment where you are walking on eggshells the entire time to tiptoe around his extremely volatile and aggressive father..."
Bebe_Bleau posted: "Never go back there. And stay as far away from that loud mouth control freak father as possible forever. He knew goddamn well the house wasn't on fire."
Maleficent_Hand_4031 agreed, saying: "You should not go back there...You are literally poisoning yourself...I would think about why he is okay with you being poisoned."
AntheaBrainhooke commented: "I don't think fear of fire is the issue here. BF's [boyfriend's] dad sounds horrifyingly controlling."
Newsweek has contacted the original poster via the Reddit messaging system.
Do you have a similar family dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
View 0 Comments
Submit Correction
View Editorial & AI Guidelines