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By Soo Kim
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A post from a frustrated host has gone viral after a guest, originally invited for a casual dinner, ended up sleeping through the following afternoon—prompting a broader conversation about modern etiquette and setting boundaries at home.
The Reddit post, by user u/WingsOfBuffalo in the r/mildlyinfuriating subreddit, is titled: "Guest spent the night in guest bedroom / office after dinner. It's 1:30 p.m. and they are still asleep." The post has had over 13,000 upvotes since it was shared on July 14. A later comment from the poster said that the guest is a "sibling-in-law."
The poster's stress over the situation is not surprising because those hosting friends and family during the holidays lose 2.5 hours of sleep per day when prepping to have others in their home. This is according to a 2022 study commissioned by Serta Simmons Bedding and conducted by OnePoll.
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The viral post recounts how a guest unexpectedly asked to stay overnight following a Sunday dinner—despite no alcohol being served—and was still asleep deep into the next day, blocking access to the host's home office.
"That's pretty much it," the poster wrote. "I moved my work computer out of the office because I have 5:30 a.m. meetings. It's now 1:30 p.m. and they are still asleep! I can't use my office, I can't leave the house to do chores. My kid gets out of school in a few hours; is this person still going to be asleep in our house?"
Later updates from the poster confirmed the guest was 29 years old. As the day wore on, tensions increased. "Thinking of charging rent," the host noted in a 2:30 p.m. update. When the family's children returned from school around 3:30 p.m., the situation finally resolved. "The toddler deposit worked," the poster wrote, as they apparently said the child's name aloud to prompt the guest to get going.
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Etiquette expert Genevieve Dreizen is author of Simple Scripts to Support Your People: What to Say When You Don't Know What to Say. She told Newsweek that, while the situation is frustrating, it is not uncommon.
"I always say that good hosting and good guesting are built on mutual respect and clear expectations," Dreizen said. "While we often assume that people will just 'know' what's appropriate, the truth is, etiquette isn't mind-reading—it's communication."
Dreizen added that even well-intentioned guests can overstep if boundaries aren't clearly established. "In this particular situation, the guest may not have intended to overstay their welcome, but by sleeping well into the afternoon without checking in, they placed their comfort above the host's needs and household rhythm" she said.
The experience, Dreizen said, serves as a reminder of the importance of setting compassionate but clear boundaries, especially when casual social events shift into overnight stays. "Even with close friends, a last-minute overnight stay requires a quick check-in about logistics," she added. "If you're the host, it's more than OK to say what you need in order to feel comfortable in your own home."
When facing a lingering guest, Dreizen offered examples of tactful nudges that maintain respect, such as "Hey! Just wanted to check in—do you have a plan for heading out soon? I need to use the office this afternoon"; or "Good morning! Just a heads-up that I need to get into this room by 2 p.m., so let me know when you're ready to get going."
The post resonated with other Reddit users who weighed in with humor and support.
One commenter, u/Technical-Agency8128, advised: "You knock on the door and tell them you have to use the office now … tell them ahead of time what time they need to vacate."
Another user, u/Shoddy_North5961, posted: "Just walk in and act as if you thought they'd already gone."
A few suggested more theatrical tactics, including setting off a smoke alarm to wake the guest.
Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment via the Reddit messaging system.
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