Boyfriend Divides Opinion Over Vacation With Female Friend: 'One Bedroom'

A post on Mumsnet has split the internet as to whether men and women can be friends. In the post, a woman asks if she is being unreasonable to be jealous of her boyfriend of four months, going on holiday with a female friend.

She wrote: "2 months after we started dating we decided that we want to be together and went exclusive. I told him that I wasn't comfortable with him going away with his female friend to which he has told me that I have to trust him and I have nothing to worry about she is just a friend.

"I saw the Airbnb place that she was booking and one of them was just one bedroom and one bed, and I asked him if they are going to sleep in the same bed. He told me that he won't sleep with her in the same bed and won't do anything to disrespect me."

She then goes on to say that he has been texting her every day but she is insecure about the fact he hasn't called, whether the female friend knows about her and what the sleeping arrangements are.

Echoing a feeling we all experience at the start of a relationship, she explains: "I don't want to end up being fooled around. I've been feeling so angry and insecure because of this. I feel like ending it but I also understand that we are still in a fresh relationship and it was so much to expect of him to not go etc. Am I overreacting?"

The user reactions were very much split, with one writing, "Walk away. Not appropriate at all. Ghost and block the fu**er", while another disagreed, " YABU [you are being unreasonable] If I were your boyfriend I'd be running for a mile, his trip with his friend was booked before you got together. Even if it wasn't, this is such an odd thing to get worked up about."

Male and female friendships are a contentious topic for many. Some women don't trust men with female friends, and some men don't want their girlfriends to have close male friends. A study by the Survey Center on American Life found that, "Three-quarters of single men (75%) and roughly two-thirds (65%) of single women have a friend of the opposite sex. In contrast, just 54% of married men and only 43% of married women report having a close friend of a different gender. These different-gender friendships are particularly important for men who rely disproportionately on their female friends for emotional support. In our survey, men with opposite-gender friends were far more likely to receive emotional support from their friends than those with only male friends."

Another study found that, "People who are skeptical of cross-sex best friendships in general are more likely to 'lash out' at their partner when they feel threatened by their partner's best friend – as opposed to constructively communicating with their partner, or with the friend, about the situation."

One user pointed out that it is possible it's a completely innocent situation, "I've been on holiday and shared a room many times with male friends. Separate beds though. Completely platonic friendships", while another user suggests that after only two months of being official she should have already met this friend, "Have you met her? Sounds fishy. Dump him."

male and female friends
Three young friends having fun in the city at night. Stock image. Three-quarters of single men (75%) and roughly two-thirds (65%) of single women have a friend of the opposite sex. Getty Images