Grad Student Backed for Moving Out After Dad's Threat to 'Make Me Homeless'

The internet rallied behind a grad student who has been living in her car for a week after her father threatened that he could "easily" make her homeless.

Posting to the popular Reddit forum r/AmITheA**hole, u/lilacswans, a 23-year-old grad student, asked if she was wrong "for quietly packing my stuff and leaving my family's house without telling anyone after my dad threatened to kick me out?" Her post had over 10,000 upvotes and 1,200 comments.

In the post, she explains that in addition to going to grad school, she also has a part-time job and an internship. She graduates in June, and has been actively applying to jobs. Her sister, 20, also lives at home, and attends college online, but doesn't have a job.

"I try to help with chores around the house as much as possible, although it's difficult since I leave the house early in the morning and come home late at night," u/lilacswans wrote.

She explains that last week, when she came home, the dishwasher needed to be emptied. She told her father she'd put the dishes away after a quick shower.

"My dad went on a rant about how I'm useless and never help around the house and that my sister is always the one doing everything," she wrote.

She said that she did help, explaining that due to her schedule, her parents didn't necessarily see her helping.

"I told him that I took the garbage out the night before, the conversation escalated to him saying that I should shut up and not argue any longer because he can easily make me homeless if he wanted to," she continued.

The next morning, before the rest of u/lilacswans' family woke up, she packed her things and left. She says since moving out, she's been living in her car and showering at the gym. Though her parents reached out to see where she was, she says she blocked their numbers and social media accounts.

This led her parents to try to reach out to her friends to make sure she's safe—so u/lilacswans told her best friend to tell them she's safe, but has no interest in maintaining communication with her family.

"They've been begging my friend to disclose my location and asking her to ask me to allow them to speak to me. I went to my friends yesterday and she told me that what I did was awful and that I should speak to them," she wrote, adding that though she told her friend about the situation, her friend said "making them worry about my safety is a horrible thing to do."

"I honestly think I just gave them what they asked for, they wanted to get rid of me so I left," she concluded. AITA for leaving and refusing to communicate with them?"

grad student homeless aita living in car
A grad student said that after her father threatened to "easily" make her homeless, she moved into her car, like the couple in this stock photo. iStock/Getty

Homelessness among students is rising problem. Though the report didn't account for grad students like u/lilacswans, a 2017 report from the Association of Community College Trustees says 13 percent of community college students experienced homelessness. There is also a movement for colleges to pay graduate students a livable wage for assisting with research or teaching on campus.

The comments nearly all backed u/lilacswans.

"NTA but maybe talk to your local PD and let them know that if your parents try to file a missing persons report it's a waste of time because you're not missing," u/Detached09 wrote in the top-rated comment, receiving 15,400 upvotes. "They threatened to kick you out for not helping so you left. Sounds like a win-win to me. Can you talk to any of your friends about staying with them while you get things together?"

"As someone who's been the 'invisible worker' of the house both when living at home with family and moved out with roommates, can confirm. People will legit think a magic house goblin came and cleaned after them or they forgot they made any mess in the first place if you don't wave what you did in their face," u/pineapplesodaa wrote.

"[Not the a**hole]. You're an adult, you don't have to live at home or share your life choices with your parents. I would maybe just consider what sort of relationship you want to have with them in the future. Do you want to go no contact? Reconnect and mend relationships?" u/Bulky_Newspaper_1373 wrote. "Also, if you're in the US planned parenthood can offer you free counseling, support and connections with local resources. You should def talk to someone outside the situation(besides friends) about what happened."

Newsweek reached out to u/lilacswans for comment.