Hasta La Vista, Arnold?

Ever had the desire to see Arnold Schwarzenegger crucified? Hurled across a room by a pudgy middle-aged woman? Beaten and kicked by a gang of Satan-worshiping thugs? Engaged in a shoot-out with Roman Catholic priests? Undergo a religious conversion? It's not as cool as it sounds. Arnold's latest mayhemathon, "End of Days," is a flabbergasting amalgam of pseudoreligiosity and "Seven"-inspired sadism. This time the Big Guy takes on the Biggest Guy of all--Satan, who appears in New York on the eve of the millennium in the body of a Wall Street bigwig (Gabriel Byrne). Satan's mission: to have carnal union with the chosen one (Robin Tunney), thus bringing about the dread "end of days."

Arnold, an alcoholic ex-cop whose wife and kid were murdered (there's a new one!), is for some reason the only guy who can stop this apocalyptic roll in the sack. But guns won't do the trick against the Devil (not that Arnold doesn't try--repeatedly). Only someone with purity in his heart can save the world. Cue the heavenly choirs. Peter Hyams's lurid, FX-happy thriller slams pieces of a dozen other movies into a noxious new compound. It has to be seen to be believed, but who'd want to?

Hasta La Vista, Arnold? | News