Hear Bill De Blasio's Dramatic Reading of an Onion Article About Bill De Blasio

De Blasio
New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio speaks during a news conference at the Queens Library on January 12, 2015. Brendan McDermid/Reuters

For reasons perhaps clear only to the man himself, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio has given us a dramatic reading of an Onion article mocking Bill de Blasio. The mayor read the story aloud to reporters on Tuesday, then tweeted a link to the recording on SoundCloud:

Mayor de Blasio just performed a dramatic reading of The Onion snow story in Room 9. @deBlasioNYC pic.twitter.com/IjWQ8hXevU

— Mara Gay (@MaraGay) January 27, 2015

In which I perform a dramatic reading of The Onion: http://t.co/AGAy7mPIJA

— Mayor Bill de Blasio (@NYCMayor) January 28, 2015

The Onion article, which spoofs New York's dramatic overpreparation for this week's snowstorm, is headlined "NYC Mayor: 'Reconcile Yourself With Your God, for All Will Perish in the Tempest.'" It continues in that apocalyptic vein, quoting the mayor urging New Yorkers to "clutch your babes close to your breast and take small comfort in knowing that they will howl for but a few hours before death becalms them forever."

De Blasio's reading, though, sounds more bemused than frightful:

Elsewhere, the mayor has said that he has "no regrets" regarding preparation measures for winter storm Juno. "You do the best you can," the mayor told the Today show. "Where we all agreed was safety first."