'Home by 6 p.m.': Woman Slammed for Questioning First Date 'Red Flag'

A woman considering whether a man saying he needed to be home by 6 p.m. on their first date was a "red flag" has received little sympathy online.

The mom shared the conversations she's been having with a man to Mumsnet, under username Cluelessgirl44, asking the internet if his specific timeframe was unusual.

She wrote: "Just looking for some advice...I have a first date tomorrow.

File photo of a couple.
File photo of a couple. A woman asked for advice over the "red flags" a man was showing before their first date. George Marks/Getty Images

"We are meeting at 2pm for cocktails. However he has told me this evening that he will aim to be home by 6pm. Not sure if this is abnormally early for a Saturday night first date...?

"When I asked why the 6pm return he said he didn't want the next day to be a write off as he may be meeting his friends for lunch out. And he may be seeing his kids (whom he sees a lot.)"

She admitted she's "never been on a first date with someone who has said this before," so wanted some perspective on the request.

The post, which can be read here, was captioned "First date—is this a red flag?!?!" and has amassed more than 500 replies since being posted on Friday.

People felt the warning, and the allocated time, were sufficient, and pointed towards him being upfront and organized.

WomanHere thought: "Sounds reasonable. I wouldn't plan a long first date myself."

SophSoSo said: "Sounds fine to me too—he's letting you know in advance, and 4 hours is plenty for a first date!"

Thecurtainsofdestiny pointed out: "He communicated clearly. I don't think that's a red flag."

Layladomino reckoned: "Seems reasonable to me. He has a life, and is organising it in a mature way."

BiscoffSundae asked: "I'm so confused about what is suppose to be a red flag?"

As the post blew up, the mom sought to clarify her stance, adding: "It is going to sound stupid but I feel a little like he is prioritising his meal out [with] his friends over our date...?

"Now of course don't get me wrong I know at the moment I'm not his girlfriend etc etc, but I just wanted our first date to feel more important and exciting to him than being the subject of time constraints."

And she claimed that she mistyped, and the date was in fact meant to end at 5 p.m., giving them a 3-hour window.

But people still felt it was sufficient, as BigMamaFratelli said: "Of course his friends and kids are more important than a first date. Honestly it's a bit weird that you think it should be otherwise"

BiscoffSundae responded: "Still loads of time for a first date? Aren't most first dates a quick coffee date these days? How much time do you want to spend Together?"

Although some felt it was a buzzkill, as Germolenequeen added: "I'd be put off— like a bit of spontaneity myself."

In the end, she claimed he told her he wouldn't be able to see her much as he's going on vacation in 3 weeks, then changed the date from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m., before canceling 20 minutes beforehand.

Despite feeling disheartened it went up in smoke, she said in another comment: "Clearly something was giving me concerns about possible red flags as a way of alerting me? I'll definitely listen to my gut feeling I future off the bat!!"

The chart below, provided by Statista, shows the popular dating apps in the U.S.

Infographic: The Most Popular Dating Apps in the U.S. | Statista You will find more infographics at Statista

Red flags are used to describe potential alarm bells in a person, often used in the world of dating and relationships.

While everyone will have their own views and boundaries, Forbes identified 4 common red flags that are typically universal.

Extreme jealousy, dishonestly, "love-bombing" and controlling behavior are all traits to look out for.

Forbes quoted Jennifer Kelman, a licensed clinical social worker, who said: "It is quite common for our guts to tell us something is off in a relationship, but we choose to ignore it because we want things to be different."

She also advised that "great communication" is generally needed as a solid foundation for any relationship.

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