Husband Slammed for Telling Wife 'It Wouldn't Kill Her' to Wear Makeup
A man has incurred the wrath of the internet after revealing he told his wife to be "less militant" about her refusal to wear makeup.
In a post shared to Reddit, a user posting under the screen name u/StridentSnail described how his wife's aversion to cosmetics has been an issue throughout their relationship.
"I think she's beautiful without it, but there have been times and occasions where it was expected/appropriate for her to wear makeup and she refused," he wrote.
As an example he cites the fact she chose not to wear any makeup on their wedding day, despite both of their mothers trying to convince her otherwise.
"They tried to tell her the pictures wouldn't come out as good, and honestly they were kind of right—she's got huge bags under her eyes and I think the photos would've been nicer if she'd just put on concealer or something," he recalled.
According to u/StridentSnail, matters came to a head recently during a family dinner with his parents and his sister, her husband and their kids.
During the dinner his niece, who is 11 and has started getting into makeup, asked his wife if she ever wore cosmetics herself.
"My niece asked why and she gave a little speech about makeup being a waste of money and that she'd feel like she was lying to herself if she wore it and that she was 'happy with the face I have,'" he said.
That remark led to a serious argument.
"My sister got mad and said that she wore makeup a lot of the time and didn't feel like she was lying to herself and that it actually made her feel good," he said.
After they got home, u/StridentSnail said he asked his wife "if she would please be less militant about makeup."
"I said it wouldn't kill her to wear it and I admit I did accuse her of being overbearing about her stance. She basically said that she never started conversations about makeup but that it's always other people bugging her to wear it and I said 'maybe they have a point and you're being hardline over something really stupid and you need to get over yourself' and she got upset..."
Posted to the popular "Am I The Asshole" thread on Reddit, u/StridentSnail's story has been upvoted more than 18,000 times and generated strong reaction on the site.
Polywha wrote: "It's such a disgusting double standard that women have to put on paint to make themselves more attractive to other people but guys can just roll out of bed and expect the world to accept them.
"Until men start wearing makeup regularly and shaving their legs their opinion on whether or not a woman does it does not matter in the slightest."
Straight-Bee9783 commented: "Why did he marry her if he wasn't happy with how she always looks? I would never think of making my husband wear makeup to our wedding and he has sometimes bags under his eyes when he gets exhausted."
Dreamerindogpatch said: "She's content and happy without make-up. You're the one who isn't. I hate wearing make-up, personally, but I CHOSE to wear done on my wedding day, and I occasionally CHOOSE to put on some eyeliner and lipstick, if it makes me feel pretty. That's a valid choice. So is wearing it every single day (my mother, for instance, never left the house without her face and hair on point) or wearing it literally never."
Cutiecrusader2009 added: "As someone who stopped wearing makeup after having kids, women should not feel pressured to wear it. I personally stopped because I felt uncomfortable about my kids ingesting the metals used in makeup when they kissed me."
Freshbroc responded: "If she doesn't want to wear make up she doesn't have to. I mean I'm a dude and wouldn't wear makeup no matter what just to look better for photos or anything so why would I expect my wife to."
Gimmetots123 also wrote: "You know what I love? Doing whatever the hell I feel like doing to my body regardless of what anyone else thinks I should do."
They added: "You either like her the way she is, or you don't. You want a wife who wears makeup, maybe you should have thought of that BEFORE you married her. Don't put her down because of your own insecurities. Grow up."
Speaking to Newsweek, the original poster, u/StridentSnail, said while he had been surprised at the huge response his post generated, he hadn't changed his stance on the use of makeup.
"Every woman I know besides my wife uses makeup. I've used makeup," he said. "It's a normal part of everyday life for the majority of people."
Despite this he acknowledged that different beauty standards exist for men and women.
"I think men and women feel more free to criticize women's appearances than men's. I'm sure there is a reason and I expect the answer has something to do with the patriarchy, but I'm not an expert."
Thankfully, he revealed that he and his wife have been able to resolve the situation.
"A lot of people seemed to think I was trying to force my wife to wear makeup, which I wasn't," he said.
"After talking with her about this more, I understand that she feels very strongly that the ubiquity of makeup is anti-woman and that it's only getting worse with things like social media always blaring in women's faces that they're inadequate without such and such product."
He added: "I think I'm going to have to sit on it for a while. I agree that makeup is everywhere. Except for my wife, every woman I know wears makeup. I still think part of looking nice means making your face look nice, and that might take makeup, and I think that goes for everybody."
