'I Have No Interest': Dad Refusing to Partake in Daughter's Hobbies Slammed

The internet has bashed a father for not wanting to partake in his daughter's hobbies because he "has no interest" in them.

Published to Reddit's popular r/AmITheA**hole forum, a man under the anonymous username u/MandemFandem2 shared his story in order to receive opinions from the "AITA" community. The popular post has over 7,000 upvotes and 5,000 comments.

The original poster (OP) began his post by writing that he has two sons (ages 12 and 14) and a 16-year-old daughter. He described the typical activities he spends time doing with his sons including fishing, sports, camping with friends and coding. He wrote that he spends most of his time "bonding" with his sons, but not as much with his daughter. When the OP asks his daughter if she wants to do things with him and her siblings she declines.

Dad slammed for not bonding with daughter
A teen looking out a window upset. The internet has blasted a man for not wanting to spend time doing his daughter's favorite activities because they don't interest him. Freila/iStock / Getty Images Plus

The father explained in more detail, "My daughter asks me to do things like practice make-up, fashion etc. I have no interest instead I like things like football, fishing, and building things. I frequently visit [home] depot with my boys because we are always working on projects like how we are working on building a cabin. My daughter comes around asking me to come shopping with her which I find unimaginably boring so I pass on the offer. My boys hate going shopping with their mother and sister, but love the things I do with them so, whenever their mother is not forcing [them to] come we are always having fun.

"I've asked my daughter multiple times to come but she's refused. The last few weeks she has been asking me to spend time with her, but she never does anything that would interest me. All she does with me is show me new clothes, talk about tv shows, and typical teenage girls stuff. I am not interested in things like getting my hair done so I do not spend time with her often," he continued.

When his daughter asked him to do something with her and he refused, she snapped. She argued that the OP never spends time with her and he loves his sons more than her. He confirms that her statement wasn't true and tried explaining to her that what she likes doesn't interest him. His wife also took her daughter's side while the OP's friends think his daughter is going through a phase. However, his daughter refuses to talk to him.

Newsweek reached out to u/MandemFandem2 for comment.

As a father, how can I bond with my teenage daughter?

A father's relationship with his daughter can be very important. If you're having trouble bonding with your teenage daughter, here are some tips from childdevelopmentinfo.com.

  • Listen to your daughter. Dads often have the need to give their daughters advice to help them succeed in life. However, sometimes she just needs someone to talk to without hearing problem-solving tips. This helps her know that you trust her to figure it out on her own.
  • Educate yourself. Teenage girls go through different phases in their life including relationships, friendships and health-related changes. When asking what's wrong and she tells you something you don't understand, learn more about it.
  • Show love. Reminding your daughter that you love her is important.
  • Help her out. Be there for her. When she asks for help, let her know that she can count on you to drive her to her friend's house or to an activity.
  • Teach your daughter how to be independent. Help her with things she might need to know in the future like changing a tire. Find activities to do together that interest both of you.
  • Be respectful. By showing respect to the women in your life, it shows that your daughter deserves respect from others.

Looking for activities to do with your daughter? According to raisingteenstoday.com, there are many activities to choose from, including surprising her with tickets to a concert, teaching her something new, taking her out to eat, building something together, watching the sunrise or sunset, having a movie marathon and taking her on a shopping spree.

Redditor responses

U/Far_Anteater_256 wrote, receiving the top comment with over 30,000 upvotes, "'Everything I do with my kids has to be all about me & what I like to do, & if my kid has different interests, they're useless to me & I won't spend any time with them. I have other kids whose shared interests can reflect my self-perceived glory back at me, & I am all that matters.' Yes, bruh. No question. [You're the a**hole]."

"[You're the a**hole]. Your daughter isn't quite right. It's not that you love your sons more than her. It's that you love yourself more than all of them. It's just more convenient to spend time with your sons because they happen to be into the same things as you. Being a parent is a sacrifice. Sometimes that means getting out of your comfort zone and doing something that you don't find fun. Because it isn't actually about the activity. It's about spending time together," u/spokanyon explained.

"[You're the a**hole]. Your daughter shouldn't have to think of activities that entertain YOU for you to want to get to know her. She is not the parent. That she wants to spend time with you is a blessing that you're squandering. You will not always have this opportunity. Again, she is your child. You are, ostensibly, the adult," u/madelinegumbo said.

U/IsMyHairShiny commented, "[You're the a**hole]. That is so selfish and narcissistic to not spend time with her because you don't like her interests."

"[You're the a**hole]. Honestly I read this and my heart sank for your daughter," u/ravvex admitted, "You're her FATHER, it's not all about you. Let her do your hair, makeup, dress you up in silly clothes. It's insane to me that you're neglecting time with her because it's boring'. That's how you end up with a child that turns 18 and wants nothing to do with you."

Newsweek has published several articles on the conflicts between teens and parents including a dad who was dragged for casting aside his daughters in favor of his son and a father who was slammed for criticizing his daughter for doing nothing.