'I Was Having a Rough Day': Internet Backs New Mom Who Hid From Mother-in-Law's Visit

Redditors are rallying behind one new mother after she revealed she hid from her mother-in-law to prevent an announced visit.

In a viral thread that has received over 10,000 votes and more than 1,500 comments in just eight hours, anonymous Reddit user u/newmom_throwaway7 told the story of how she avoided any contact with her mother-in-law during a stressful day last week.

"I looked out the bedroom window to see my MIL walking through the front gate and I honestly wanted to cry," they wrote. "I'm not proud of it, but I sat on the floor of the bedroom ignoring the doorbell until she went away."

Strain between mothers and their in-laws is common, and with the holiday season in full-swing, tensions are primed to rise even higher than normal. However, according to We Have Kids, tension is a potential sign of greater toxic behavior.

In a list of '14 Signs You Have a Toxic Mother-in-Law' that included dismissiveness, expecting subservience and narcissism, We Have Kids noted that unannounced visits are a form of mother-in-law manipulation.

Mother-in-law taking sides
One Reddit user said she hid from mother-in-law to prevent an unannounced visit. Motortion/iStock / Getty Images Plus

"She will come to your house uninvited and unannounced, expecting you to welcome her with open arms and be grateful for the honor of her visit," the article reads. "She will look with disgust at how filthy your place is and how unmannered your kids are."

While u/newmom_throwaway7 asked Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole if she was wrong for hiding from her mother-in-law, she acknowledged some toxic tendencies. Providing examples including her mother-in-law examining the floor and saying, "You must not have a vacuum cleaner. I'll bring one next time I'm over," the original poster said the behavior is overbearing

"I find her constant stream of advice and thinly-veiled criticism...to be just too much to handle," they wrote. "Both my husband and I have asked that she call before coming over but she brushes it off, saying that family shouldn't have to call."

u/newmom_throwaway7 added that she felt badly because she knew her mother-in-law had to commute a total of 40 minutes to visit, but other Redditors assured she was not the a**hole for avoiding the unannounced interaction.

In the post's top comment, which has received 19.8K votes itself, u/whateveryoubench placed all of the blame squarely on the original poster's mother-in-law.

"[Not the a**hole] she has to call before coming," they wrote. "The fact that she sat on the bus for 40 min without seeing her grandchild is her own problem."

"MIL brought it on herself by not informing an upcoming visit. Too bad," u/little_munkin79 wrote in agreement.

In their original post, u/newmom_throwaway7 said that her husband was upset with her for ignoring his mother and that he made her feel like she "did something awful," but multiple commenters including u/Time_Detective7632 wrote that her husband deserved some of the blame for the situation, too.

"Make sure to show these comments to your husband OP," they wrote. "If your husband can't back you, then he needs to pull his head out of his mom's butt and get his priorities straight."

Newsweek reached out for comment to which u/newmom_throwaway7 said,"I don't generally have a lot of faith in exchanges with strangers on the internet but in this case people were lovely...being at home with a newborn can be a bit lonely at times so it was nice to hear that other people have had similar experiences."