Internet Backs Man Whose Pregnant Wife Didn't Save Food for His Diabetic Mom

A man has sparked a viral conversation in Reddit's "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) forum after sharing a recent incident involving his diabetic mother, who passed out after his pregnant wife ate all of the food he had prepared for their breakfasts. The anonymous Redditor, known only as u/gehebejdk, shared his query only eight hours ago at the time of writing: since then, the post, found here, has received over 10,000 votes and 1,600 comments.

According to u/gehebejdk, he and his wife have been married for five years, and she is now three months pregnant with their child. His mother, meanwhile, suffers from diabetes, high blood pressure, and "poor memory." As such, she has been living with him and his wife for two years.

"I usually do all the cooking at home and we have one of those stovetop controllers that are password operated to ensure safety in case my mom goes into the kitchen when I'm not at home," he wrote. "I also give my mom all her meds as she's prone to forgetting whether she's taken meds or not."

On a recent day, he followed his routine as normal: "I prepared breakfast for the [three] of us, kept my mom's meds on her bedside table and left for work," he said.

However, things took a turn when he received a call about four hours later and learned that his "mom was in the emergency ward because she passed out from only having her meds and not her food."

"I rushed to the hospital and found my wife sitting in the emergency ward," he said.

This is where tensions began to rise. When the man asked his wife why his mother hadn't eaten the breakfast he'd prepared, his wife said that she "had eaten all the food because she was extra hungry."

"On top of all this, my wife gave my mom her diabetic meds thinking that she hadn't had them yet," he added.

For context, it can be highly dangerous for diabetics to skip meals while on certain medications. As dietician Carolyn Garvey explained to Cleveland Clinic, a missed meal can disturb the balance between diabetes medication and food intake, resulting in blood pressure levels that are either too high or too low. "If you take medications for diabetes that can cause low blood sugars, you should try not to skip meals," she said.

Diabetes Glucometer
A Redditor shared a recent incident involving his diabetic mother, who passed out after his pregnant wife ate all of the food he had prepared for their breakfasts. A woman with diabetes measuring her glycemia levels, March 2020. FRANCK FIFE/AFP/Getty Images

Finding his mother in the ER was an emotional experience for the Redditor: "I tried to keep my calm but seeing my mom like that made my blood boil and I told my wife to just go home." he said. "She tried talking to me but I told her to not test me and that I don't know how much longer I'll stay calm. I made her leave the hospital."

It appeared that the couple has yet to reach a resolution. "She's been texting and calling me but I haven't replied to her yet," he said. "My mom is conscious now but the doctor said she's still disoriented...due to overdose of diabetic meds. She'll have to stay at the hospital for a few more days."

Of the thousands of replies that have flooded in, many seem to take a sympathetic stance toward the Redditor.

"Your wife could've KILLED your mother by doing what she did," wrote u/lilmxfi. "Pregnancy doesn't suddenly remove your self-control, and she could've made herself other food rather than immediately jumping to eating your diabetic mother's food. I'd insist on counseling, because this kinda sounds like she just doesn't care and only her needs matter to her."

Others, meanwhile, questioned why the wife wouldn't make herself more food, instead of taking the portion set aside for the Redditor's mom. As a complicating factor in the ordeal, some wondered if the wife has access to the "password-operated stovetop controller" described in the post.

Some went so far as to accuse the wife of intentionally trying to harm the man's mother. "Your wife tried to kill your mom," wrote u/ArwenandEowyn. "She knew exactly what she was doing when she gave her those meds on an empty stomach." Adding this notion is the fact that the couple had seemingly gone two years without encountering a similar situation. Others referred to the incident as "abuse" or "neglect" on the wife's part.

Not everyone agreed, however. At the other end of the spectrum, some commenters came to the wife's defense. "While I agree with most of this, I do not believe the wife was being malicious. I get really stupid during pregnancy, especially the first trimester," said u/quarantinepreggo. "The extra hormones and poor sleep do really weird things to the brain. This is, obviously, a really dangerous and scary mistake but I'm sure it was a mistake. OP is definitely NTA, but I don't think his wife was being TA either."

"My best guess is that mom said she wasn't hungry and [his] wife ate the extra breakfast not realizing it was such a big deal for mom to not eat," echoed u/shakeyshake1. "Then...it would be a true story but without malice."

They added: "I agree that she shouldn't be placed in a caretaker role. I'm not sure either of them are prepared for that anyway."

Newsweek has reached out to u/gehebejdk for comment.