Internet Backs Mom for Hosting Vegan Children's Birthday Party in Viral Post

A mom of three has turned to Reddit's 'Am I the A***hole' forum following a dispute with her husband over their daughter's first birthday party. Specifically, she hopes to accommodate her child's egg and dairy allergies by serving only vegan food at the event—an idea adamantly opposed by her husband.

The post has gone viral in the hours since it was shared, generating 10,600 upvotes and 2,200 comments at the time of writing.

According to the anonymous mom, known as u/Specialist_Badger934, her youngest daughter was about 3 months old when the family discovered her egg allergy.

"​​After a bunch of testing it was determined that she can't have dairy or eggs in any form, not even cooked/baked," noted the Redditor.

The daughter's first birthday is next weekend, explained u/Specialist_Badger934, and as such, she wants the celebration "to be completely safe for her"—meaning that "all food, drink, desserts, etc. will be egg and dairy free."

Although u/Specialist_Badger934 and her family do eat meat, she noted that the party would effectively be vegan.

"We have spent so much time figuring out what she was allergic to and avoiding it, I wanted to have one day where we do not have to monitor everything she ate. And of course being a baby, she tends to grab for anything she wants, so having no allergens at all means I don't have to worry if one of our other children ... leaves their food in her reach," she added.

However, u/Specialist_Badger934's husband objected to this plan, reportedly telling her that he "doesn't want to have 'only vegan food'" at the event because he and his family won't eat it.

"I wasn't planning on anything too out there," countered u/Specialist_Badger934. "My mom volunteered to make her homemade veggie soup, and I was going to make a chocolate cake and frosting. The only difference between normal cake and frosting and the one I'm making is applesauce instead of eggs and oat milk instead of [cow's] milk."

Regardless, she explained that neither her nephews on her husband's side of the family would eat the soup nor will their parents. And while she suspects that her nephews would've enjoyed the allergen-free chocolate cake, "as soon as [her] in-laws discovered it was 'vegan' they said they won't eat vegan food, and neither will their kids."

"My husband wants to just do pizza and 'normal' cake because it's what they like," u/Specialist_Badger934 added. "I don't understand the point of having a birthday meal that the birthday kid can't even eat."

"I didn't think it was too much to ask to have one day that is catered to my daughter, when she's going to have to spend the rest of her life working around everyone else," she concluded.

Plant-based diets are on the rise, and the idea of having an allergen-free and/or vegan event is far from unusual in this day and age. According to Statista, 2020 saw a major increase in the sale of plant-based foods in the U.S. Over the 52-week period, sales of plant-based foods grew by 27 percent, outpacing the 15 percent growth seen in total food sales.

Moreover, milk and eggs are two of the nine most common food allergens, reported Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE). According to the nonprofit, about 2.5 percent of children under the age of three have a milk allergy, while as many as 2 percent of children are allergic to eggs.

Meanwhile, readers were quick to side with u/Specialist_Badger934.

"You are absolutely NTA and you should do this every birthday," noted u/sarcasm_and_books in a top-voted comment.

"Your daughter's birthday is about her, not about them," echoed u/DinaFelice. "If they are dumb enough not to know that there are plenty of vegan options that are delicious, and they refuse to try new things because they "know" that they won't like it, perhaps they aren't mature enough to attend a one-year-old's party."

Others suggested that, in the future, the Redditor should altogether stop disclosing to her husband if something is allergen-free or vegan.

"If you hadn't told him, he would have eaten a vegan cake and would have never been able to tell the difference," wrote u/sonal1988.

Newsweek has reached out to u/Specialist_Badger934 for additional comment.

Birthday Cake
A boy blowing out the candles on his birthday cake, 1970. On Tuesday, a Redditor sought advice after a disagreement with her husband over their daughter's birthday cake. Kirn Vintage Stock/Getty Images

Editor's pick

Newsweek cover
  • Newsweek magazine delivered to your door
  • Unlimited access to
  • Ad free experience
  • iOS and Android app access
  • All newsletters + podcasts
Newsweek cover
  • Unlimited access to
  • Ad free experience
  • iOS and Android app access
  • All newsletters + podcasts