Internet Backs Redditor Who Refuses to Cook if 'Spoiled' Stepdaughter Comes to Christmas

With the holidays rapidly approaching, a woman has turned to Reddit for advice regarding a less-than-ideal Christmas guest: her 35-year-old stepdaughter. The post, in the site's "Am I The A**hole" forum, has received significant engagement since it was shared on Sunday, surpassing 8,000 upvotes overall with individual comments reaching as many as 14,000 upvotes.

Readers were quick to offer the anonymous woman their support—which she told Newsweek provided "validation" that she "shouldn't be obligated" to endure an unwanted holiday gathering.

Redditor u/Specialist-Page9589 began her post by explaining that she and her husband, "Rob," "married later in life." Each has an adult daughter from a previous relationship. According to the Redditor, Rob's daughter, "Maggie," is a "spoiled brat."

"To be 100 [percent] honest, I would not have even considered marrying Rob if Maggie had been underage. She is extremely difficult," she wrote. "She has never worked a day in her life. She was never held accountable for being a mean girl in school, and even as an adult she throws tantrums."

"I have seen her throw herself to the ground, cry until she can't breathe," she added. "Her husband responds by treating her like an actual toddler, tickling, rocking, it is very weird."

Now, Maggie is 35, has two kids of her own, and remain "unaware of her privilege," said the Redditor, citing several examples. "She constantly is smug about what her husband buys her and tries to imply that my daughter is poor, despite my son in law making excellent money," she wrote, adding that Maggie also "[tried] to upstage [her] daughter at her wedding."

"I'm not trying to be some wicked stepmother, but this woman is annoying," wrote u/Specialist-Page9589.

Typically, Maggie hosts Christmas at her house, according to the Redditor. "I don't go because I want to spend Christmas with my daughter, and because Maggie is a lot," said the Redditor. However, Maggie is unable to this year because of a "minor surgery" following a "ruptured breast implant."

"Rob wants me to host this year and invite both of our daughters, and he cites that my daughter just had a baby and shouldn't have to cook either," she explained.

"I said I don't really feel like spending Christmas with Maggie because of her behavior," she wrote.

"He accused me of just not liking his daughter. I said if he wants to host Maggie and her husband, he can cook [he can't] and I will go to my daughter's like planned. He thinks I'm being unfair because it is Christmas and she is his only blood family and he feels I would be angry if he did the same with my daughter," she concluded.

Readers were quick to support the Redditor's plan, arguing that she shouldn't be expected to deal with Maggie's behavior.

"Family dynamics aside, don't volunteer to host a holiday and shift the burden of hosting and preparing the meal to another person," said u/Yellow_Stop. "If your husband can't cook, he's perfectly capable of ordering a prepared meal to heat up and serve. He can host his daughter and her family and you can go to your daughter's house."

"When I first began reading, I was appalled thinking you were talking about a child/teenager. Then seeing she's 35, I was shocked," noted u/thekatamarikid. "Clearly she has issues and honestly her parents didn't do anything to nip that in the bud and aren't setting boundaries now."

While many readers offered practical comments and solutions, the Redditor told Newsweek that some jumped to unnecessarily-harsh conclusions.

"Maggie is annoying as all hell, but some of the comments saying she is a narcissist, she is an evil master manipulator are just too far for me," wrote the Redditor in a message. "I'm also getting a lot of comments saying my husband has no redeeming qualities, so my takeaway is to not judge someone's entire life based on a few paragraphs."

However, she did note that she will be spending Christmas with her daughter. "I decided I'm going to my [daughter's] house as planned, but I will leave a meal for my husband to heat up," she explained.

"I'm not going to have him confront Maggie, because I think it is too late for her to change, especially when she found a man to enable her," she added. "I would never expect him to cut his daughter out of his life, and in some ways Maggie is what he created so maybe he deserves to put up with her...I will see her in the future, but on my own terms."

"Marriage and relationships aren't black and white," she added.