A woman took to Reddit to share that after living with her parents as a young mom and paying their expenses, she now is ready to move out though her parents still expect financial support.
Reddit user, Living_In_Mountains, posted to the "Am I The A**hole" forum in a post that has now been voted on over 11,000 times.
She said that after having her son at 20 and becoming a single parent, her parents invited her to live with them and help with childcare. In return, the Redditor was helping with rent and some bills. Eventually, she began covering the entirety of the household expenses.
A 2019 article from U.S. News said when it's possible, it's best to avoid asking teenage children to cover household necessities. The article acknowledges, though, that some families might not have an option but to ask their child for help. The article does say that when your child is a "boomerang kid"—or an adult child who returns home—asking for financial help is appropriate because it not only teaches financial responsibility it helps for the parents to prioritize other saving goals.
The Redditor said that when she initially moved back in with her parents she was covering half of the rent and $200 in bills.
"After months of this arrangement my dad lost his job, my mom didn't work," she wrote. "I had a good job that was paying me well, so I took on all the expenses of the house while my dad found a new job. I'm talking full rent, groceries, utilities, tv, cellphones, gas, car insurance, even spending money for them."
She said after a year of her father looking for a job, her parents told her he would no longer be looking because he was "old and tired"—she noted later that both parents are 52.
For three years she paid all of the expenses as she said she was grateful for their help with taking care of her son. Though after meeting her now-husband, she wanted a change but her parents expected him to move in.
"My husband and I talked and we agreed to get our own place, start our own family, our own life and give my son a chance of a family," she wrote. "When we told my parents they got super angry saying they have no way to support themselves and I already had agreed to support them."
She wrote that her parents agreed to "let" her move out though wanted her to leave her son with them so that the financial support would continue. Both she and her husband declined.
She told them she could help out with the first couple of months after she moved out but after that, they would have to support themselves.
Other Redditors commented noting the parents' age saying that they are below the age of typical retirement.
"I'm nearly that age myself and the thought of one of my kids fully funding my life while my husband and I sit on our butts is repugnant," one person wrote.
Another commenter offered a bit of a different perspective to those saying the circumstances might be different if her parents were older.
"I disagree that it would be different if they were older," the commenter wrote. "Even if they were older, OP is NOT obligated to them just because they're old. If she felt that she needed to pay them back after helping with her son, I believe she did that and more after over 3 years of paying for their whole lives..."
Newsweek reached out to Living_In_Mountains for comment.
