Internet Backs Woman Banning Husband From Brother's Funeral After He Made Her 'Guess' Who Died

The death of a family member is never news to be taken lightly—as evidenced by one man's grievous error.

Earlier this week, a woman took to Reddit's "Am I the A**hole" forum to describe a "devastating" situation involving the death of her brother. According to the anonymous Redditor, known only as u/Annonymous3542, she learned of the tragic news following a phone call with her husband—but only after he made her guess which of her family members had died. As a result, she has uninvited him to the funeral. Support for the woman has flooded in, and the post has amassed over 17,000 upvotes and nearly 1,500 comments.

The Redditor began by explaining that her brother had recently passed away: "I lost my brother in a motorcycle accident [three] weeks ago at the age of 21. This was sudden and devastating beyond measure," she said.

"I live [three] towns away from my entire family and I didn't know about it right away," she added.

Explaining the incident, the Redditor said she had left her phone charging in another room—meaning she didn't hear it when her sister called. However, she happened to be passing through the room when her husband rang, so she picked up. "I answered and he asked why I didn't answer my sister's calls," she wrote.

According to the Redditor, her husband proceeded to tell her that a member of her family had died. However, instead of directly revealing who had passed away, he decided to play a twisted game with his distraught wife.

"I was shaking at this point while I was waiting for him to tell me more," she wrote. However, he only said the following: "Guess who!"

The Redditor "told him to stop it" but her husband reportedly "still thought [it was] fine to ask me to guess." She said that she yelled at him, hung up the phone, and then called her sister. That's when she learned it was her youngest brother who had died.

"I had an awful reaction because this is my baby brother that I adored so much and my husband knew how much I cared about him," she explained. "I drove to my hometown [six] hours away by myself and my husband was mad after he found out I didn't wait...to take him with me."

"I told him I didn't want him there after how he treated me and played [with] my emotions like that," she wrote. According to u/Annonymous3542, her husband tried to defend his actions by saying "he was trying to prevent [her] from being traumatized." He reportedly "didn't want to dish [out] the news all of sudden."

"He said my anger was misplaced and I was taking it out on him for no reason," she added, noting that he said, "he tried to be as nice as he could about it." The Redditor has since excluded him from all gatherings relating to her brother's passing.

Needless to say, commenters rushed to the woman's defense for barring her husband from her brother's funeral.

Redditor u/Forteanforever called the act "sadistic" and advised her to leave her husband over the incident. "There are some things that are deal breakers and this was one of them," they wrote.

"He was playing games with your feelings in a vulnerable moment, I'm so sorry for your loss," added u/Dansii.

"This is possibly the worst and most horrific way he could have possibly broken the news to you," echoed u/DeusXMathematica.

Many more wondered if this type of behavior was recurring for the Redditor's husband—a theory that she confirmed in the comments section. "This tone is nothing new," she said. "He'd talk like this about serious stuff and I've come to realize that is just how he is."

"I'm taking space from him as of now," she added in another comment, noting that "it's been weeks since [she's] seen him."

According to experts, it's best to be direct when informing someone of a death. As Marie Curie—a U.K. nonprofit focused on terminal illness, dying, and bereavement—explains, the best practice is to "talk slowly and gently using plain, simple language."

"It is usually clearer to say that someone has died than to use euphemisms," they add.

Newsweek reached out to u/Annonymous3542 for comment.

Woman on Phone
A Redditor revealed her husband made her "guess" which family member died while breaking the news to her over the phone. A woman in tears talking to her daughter on the phone, 2005. Alex Wong/Getty Images