Internet Blasts Man For Hiding Four Children From Fiancée

A woman went viral online after sharing her current situation between her brother and his fiancée in a Reddit post in the popular "Am I The A**hole" subreddit titled "AITA for bringing up my brother's four kids to his fiance [sic] and potentially ruining an engagement?"

In the post, the anonymous Redditor who goes by u/miabee_02 explained that she brought up her brother's four children to his fiancée and was unaware that she had no idea he had kids. The post received more than 16,100 votes in 15 hours.

The Redditor, 22, wrote that she'd been roommates with her 28-year-old brother since she was 17. She said her brother Jamie was always with different girls, even when he was in a relationship.

"I'm not a huge fan of his actions or how he treats women in general," she wrote about her brother. "But it's his life and he's free to mess it up as much as he wants so I turn a blind eye to it."

Redditor u/Miabee_02 then explained that her brother has four kids, a 10-year-old daughter, four-year-old twin boys, and another son around eight years old. She wrote that he had the twin boys with one of her close friends who decided never to take him to court, so the Redditor said she helps provide for them when her friend needs help.

"He doesn't want kids and doesn't see them but maybe a handful of times around the year and doesn't see his 8 year old son at all," the post read. "He calls the ones he has 'accidents' and has said before that he wishes he hadn't had them because he gets irritated when their mothers call him."

The post explained that three years ago, Jamie met a woman named Natalie and the two "immediately hit it off." Natalie eventually moved into their apartment and the Redditor said she was surprised that she stuck around given Jamie's "habits."

The Redditor said she was planning on moving in a few months and Natalie started talking about how she wanted to renovate her room once she moved out. She said Natalie even said to her that maybe they would turn it into a nursery.

"I thought it was a joke and brushed it off," the post read. "Well, a couple weeks ago, while I was out at dinner with my friends, he had decorated the apartment and proposed to her. I congratulated them and didn't have any problems with this until a few nights ago when we were all drinking and talking."

The post explained that Natalie was discussing her plans for the wedding, bridesmaids, and her ring before the conversation shifted.

"Here's what went wrong," u/miabee_02 wrote. "She mentioned how she wanted kids as soon as she could and how she could see my brother being the best dad."

The Redditor said she started laughing and told Natalie that he "hasn't been the best dad to the four he has now." Jamie began freaking out and Natalie asked what that meant. At that point, the Redditor realized that Natalie did not know that Jamie had any children.

Some of the worst lies a person could tell a partner include not fessing up to their past and not openly discussing whether they want children in the future, The Healthy noted. As many people well know, relationships often fail when trust is not part of the equation.

Clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly told The Healthy that partners sometimes overtly lie about their future goals in order to "be flexible." However, an important and truthful conversation about future goals can keep the relationship healthy.

Redditor u/miabee_02 wrote, "I realized she didn't know and explained how he wasn't raising his kids and how he didn't even want to see them and didn't want kids at all."

She explained that Jamie, who was drunk, began yelling at her so she called a friend and left. She said she stayed away from Jamie and Natalie for a day or two but Jamie continued to text her.

Couple yelling at each other
A woman said she told her brother's fiancée about his four children without realizing he never told her he had kids. The woman took to Reddit for input on her actions and potentially ruining an engagement. Stockbyte/iStock

"I guess he and Natalie are fighting horribly and he blamed me for it," the post continued. "I ruined his engagement and I'm an AH for telling her as it 'should've been his choice to tell her about the kids.'"

The post stated that their parents agreed with Jamie and haven't been speaking with her. At the end of the post, she said she felt that Jamie should have told Natalie he had kids before they ever got too serious, but still asked if she was in the wrong for sharing the news.

More than 1,500 users commented on u/miabee_02's post, with many supporting her and heavily criticizing Jamie's choices.

"NTA—Its [sic] been 3 years! If he hasn't told her by now, then he did not plan on telling her," one user commented and received more than 24,400 votes. "He's withholding a huge piece of information from her by not telling her he has 4 kids."

Another user said u/miabee_02 did nothing wrong and recounted a similar situation that happened to a family member.

"I had a family member be in a long term relationship with a guy, live with him and later find out he had an older child that he kept secret from her," the comment read. "It was pretty traumatic for her. You saved her from making a huge mistake. Your brother, on the other hand, should probably get a vasectomy."

Newsweek reached out to u/miabee_02 for comment.