Internet Defends Woman Who Refused to Care for 'Extremely Ill' Husband With Dairy Allergy

A woman has asked for the internet's judgment after a recent incident with her husband, involving his continuous dairy consumption—despite having a severe allergy. Now, readers are backing her decision to confront his self-destructive behavior by refusing to help when his symptoms arise.

The woman shared her story on Monday in Reddit's "Am I the A**hole" forum. It has since received 14,000 upvotes and 2,400 comments.

According to Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE), 32 million Americans suffer from food allergies. Additionally, 200,000 people in the U.S. "require emergency medical care for allergic reactions to food" each year.

According to the anonymous 27-year-old woman, known by the username u/throwawaythepizzapie, her husband, 36-year-old "Tim," has a severe dairy allergy. She added that his allergy is "serious enough to cause acute enterocolitis"—the inflammation of one's digestive tract.

For context, "money has been very tight" for the couple, as "Tim has been without work."

"As a result, I barely get to rest," she wrote. "As you can imagine, that day off means the universe to me."

Despite the severity of his allergy, the woman noted that Tim "loves dairy" and will occasionally "intentionally eat things which trigger his allergy." She added that the number of these "risky meals" has been on the rise: Tim used to intentionally consume dairy once every four to six months, but that number has increased to approximately once every two weeks.

"In fact, it always seemed to coincidentally line up with my time off, and I found myself spending my one day taking care of him," said the anonymous woman.

"Last week, I finally asked him if he was intentionally timing it to line up with my day off," she explained. "I fully expected him to say no, but he admitted that he was doing it to make sure that he'd have a nurse, and so he'd have someone close by in case he ... needed a hospital."

In response, the "livid" woman told her husband that "if he made himself sick again, [she] wouldn't take care of him."

Apparently, Tim chose to ignore his wife's warning. "Fast forward to Friday night .... Tim gets a pizza delivered. I ask him why ... and he shrugs," she wrote. "I ask if a large garlic Alfredo pizza is worth the pain, and remind him that I won't be giving up my rest day again."

Rather than acknowledging her perspective, Tim "smirks and eats an entire slice while grinning at [her]."

"Predictably, he got sick, profusely vomiting, retching and groaning from the intense cramping and diarrhea," she said. "He called for me several times and I repeatedly told him no."

"Hours later, he was still sick and woke me up at the crack of dawn to go get him pedialyte and meds because he was very dehydrated and still in pain," added the woman. "I told him to order it in and asked him to get out and let me sleep."

In the following hours, the "sulking" and "enraged" Tim reportedly told the couple's friends and family that "he nearly died" because his wife "neglected him."

"His family accused me of passively trying to kill him," she wrote.

Despite his family's response, readers were quick to offer the woman their support—and expressed concern for her husband, who so willingly put himself in a dangerous position.

Said u/GoodGirlsGrace: "This man is willing to risk his own life so he could force his wife to spend her break on him. That's so immature, manipulative and frankly disturbing."

"He doesn't want a wife, he wants a mommy to take care of him," said u/Alert-Potato.

Others called the behavior a "red flag" and "abusive."

Newsweek has reached out to u/throwawaythepizzapie for additional comment.

Dairy Intolerance
In a Monday Reddit post, a woman said her husband with a severe dairy allergy would intentionally eat dairy products on her days off—forcing her to take care of him. AndreyPopov/iStock / Getty Images Plus

Editor's pick

Newsweek cover
  • Newsweek magazine delivered to your door
  • Unlimited access to
  • Ad free experience
  • iOS and Android app access
  • All newsletters + podcasts
Newsweek cover
  • Unlimited access to
  • Ad free experience
  • iOS and Android app access
  • All newsletters + podcasts