Internet Sides With Man Whose Wife Used His Money to Pay for His Own Luxury Birthday Gift

A frustrated Redditor took to the platform's "Am I the A**hole" forum on Thursday to describe a conflict between him and his wife: without his knowledge, the unnamed wife allegedly used money from his bank account to pay for his lavish birthday gift. Since circulating on the site, the post has gotten significant attention, racking up 10,400 votes at the time of writing.

It's common knowledge that money can be a source of stress in romantic relationships.

"Money is the number one thing couples fight about, especially early on," explained clinical psychologist and Certified Financial Planner Dr. Brad Klontz, in a recent episode of Real Simple's Money Confidential podcast.

"If you're getting married your financial life is intertwined," he added. According to Dr. Klontz, the financial debates that arise for couples aren't always as simple as whether to combine funds or keep them separate—rather, he explained, these are complex conflicts that require honest and involved conversations.

Coin Purse
A husband took to Reddit to explain that his wife bought him an expensive birthday gift with his own money and wants to return the gift. A 1950s change purse filled with bills and coins. H. Armstrong Roberts/Retrofile/Getty Images

In the case of this particular Redditor, however, commenters seem to think this wife's actions represent a financial "red flag" so severe that it could potentially jeopardize the relationship.

Known only as u/hdhdjducch, the Redditor explained his dilemma, noting that he and his wife have been married for two years.

He wrote: "I recently noticed after reviewing bank statements that she's been buying my birthday gifts with my money for the past two years." The first year, the gift purchase went undetected, he explained, because its cost wasn't "super expensive."

For his most recent birthday, however, she chose to give him a Rolex watch costing approximately $10,000.

"I felt bad since I didn't get her anything nearly as expensive for a birthday gift and I told her she shouldn't have. I also wondered how she could afford it unless she's been saving," he said. "She said she wanted to do something nice for me and she knew I liked it."

Things took a turn for the worse when, soon after, the Redditor tried to buy a cup of coffee and found that his credit card was declined. After calling his bank and reviewing his online statements, he realized that his card had been blocked due to unusual activity: purchasing the Rolex.

Notably, the Redditor and his wife do not share entirely combined finances. "We have a shared account to pay bills but then we also have our individual credit/debit cards for personal expenses," he said. "She's an authorized user on my credit card but she'll only use it if I ask her to buy something for me such as work clothes." As such, learning that the expensive gift had been purchased on his account came as a shock.

He decided to confront her wife—but upon doing so, she claimed it had all been a mistake. She reportedly told him: "​​I thought I used the shared account, I must've pulled out the wrong card by accident. I'm sorry."

When he told her that he wanted to return the watch, he said she told him to keep it. "You know you wanted one anyway. Please appreciate me wanting to do something nice for you," she reportedly said.

The situation has left the majority of commenters outraged on u/hdhdjducch's behalf.

Wrote u/GroundbreakingWing48: "I'm a bankruptcy attorney and this is a MAJOR red flag. The ability to throw $5K+ on a random card without being sure it's going on the correct card is a sign that there are many, many other problems going on here."

Added u/JanusIsBlue: "This is stealing, and not okay. Her trying to minimize the purchase and dissuade you from cancelling it makes me think this might have been intentional."

For now, u/hdhdjducch appears focused on returning the Rolex. "I'm not paying for it," he wrote in the comments. "I've been trying to figure out how to return this thing which is causing a headache."

Newsweek has reached out to u/hdhdjducch for additional comment.