Internet Slams Bride's Expensive 'Requests' After Bridesmaids 'Step Down' Due to Cost

A soon-to-be bride has taken to Reddit after coming into conflict with several of her bridesmaids—and now, readers are weighing in on the situation. Posted by an unnamed Redditor, known only as u/Otherwise_Ad_8188, the situation has garnered over 8,000 upvotes and sparked thousands more to debate in the comments section.

The dilemma sits in what is somewhat of a grey area within the world of wedding planning: what are bridesmaids reasonably expected to pay for, and what should be covered by the bride?

According to u/Otherwise_Ad_8188's post, she has a destination wedding planned for July 2022 and has begun planning with her bridal party. "All of them accepted happily and were excited to be part of the planning," she explained. "My sister will be my [maid of honor] and I told her to make a group chat with all the bridesmaids and pass down my requests to them."

The bride then notes that her initial "requests" to her bridal party "seemed reasonable at first"—that is, until her bridesmaids started stepping down from the role.

These requests, explained the Redditor, included paying for their own hotel rooms at the resort where the bride, groom, and their families will be staying and covering the costs of their own bridesmaid dresses. Additionally, the bridesmaids were responsible for "[finding] their own hairstylists and makeup artists" for the big day—despite the fact that the bride wants the hair and makeup to "be the same on all of them."

On top of the wedding itself, the bride's maid-of-honor is planning the bachelorette party—"a weekend getaway" that each bridesmaid has to cover their own costs for.

Lastly, u/Otherwise_Ad_8188 told her bridesmaids that "if any of them wants to diet [she'd] appreciate," but she added that "they're not forced to" and that the request is "just a suggestion."

"After my requests were made clear I had a couple of my bridesmaids...saying that sadly they'll have to step down because they can't afford all this," wrote the bride. "They said the dresses I showed them are also too expensive. I said that I offered two choices for that reason, so they can pick whichever one they can afford."

"They said both choices are still too expensive and there's no way they can afford both a destination wedding and a destination bachelorette," she wrote, noting that the two bridesmaids asked her if they could stay at a cheaper hotel or Airbnb—a request which she denied. "They said they'll step down," said the bride.

For additional context, the bride clarified some of the bridesmaids' costs in the comments section. According to her, the two dress options are around €200 (or $231 USD) each, while the hotel rooms her bridesmaids are expected to stay in for the wedding cost €380 (about $439) per night.

After the two bridesmaids stepped down, issues began to flare up between the bride and the four that remained. "One of them told me that my requests are not possible to fulfill for everyone so I shouldn't take it personally. I said those are regular requests any bride makes for her wedding, why am I not allowed to?" asked the bride.

This bridesmaid reportedly then told her "that she [needs] to grow up and [realize] not everyone can afford it and it's not [her] business to argue about it."

"She said unless I can get my s**t together she'll drop out too because I don't seem understanding and [I'll] be a nightmare to work with. The rest of the bridesmaids comforted me and said that those who dropped out are not true supportive friends," explained the Redditor. "My sister also told me to ignore them and move on. But I'm very hurt my bridal party started off with drama because of my requests," she concluded.

Though the post was only shared eight hours ago at the time of writing, Redditors had a lot to say about the situation. Many criticized the bride and her expensive "requests," and some even found her demands to be so outlandish that they suspected the entire post was faked. However, others—citing their own similar experiences participating in weddings—believed that the situation was plausible.

"No, these are NOT requests 'every bride' makes. You should be willing to work with them, cover costs for them when able, that sort of thing," wrote u/Katyanoctis. "Everything you're requesting is absurd...and if you value your friends at all, you'll make this easier on them. Otherwise you'll come out of this with none."

"You have no right to spend other [folks'] money so freely," commented u/BBMcBeadle. Echoed u/lemmful: "Friends don't put friends into debt."

Many seemed to specifically take issue with the bride's suggestion that her bridesmaids go on a "diet" prior to the wedding, with commenters calling the request "disgusting" and "horrifying."

Newsweek reached out to u/Otherwise_Ad_8188 for comment.

Newlyweds
A Redditor took to the platform to discuss her bridesmaids dropping out of her wedding because of expense. Newlyweds in New York City's Central Park. TIMOTHY A. CLARY/AFP/Getty Images