Internet Slams Man Who Demanded Written Apology From Pregnant Wife in Viral Post

A woman went viral on Reddit after sharing that she canceled her husband's five-day Christmas plans with his entire family after he sent the invitations without telling her. She said she didn't want his entire family at their house and he demanded that she write him an apology.

The woman, known only as u/No355356, posted her situation on Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum and received more than 15,000 votes and 3,400 comments in only six hours.

In the post, u/No355356 explained that she, 32, and her husband, 39, have been married for four years and have a two-year-old child together. She also mentioned that she is currently six months pregnant with their second child.

She also explained that she currently works a full-time job while her husband works three night shifts a week.

"This whole drama started days ago," she explained in the post. "My husband has a large family. And on every Christmas they'd gather at his father's house. My father in law passed away a year ago and this year my husband decided as the man of the family to host Christmas at our house."

u/No355356 explained that her husband sent out invitations for a five-day Christmas celebration to all of his family members, about 26 members in total, but did not tell her.

"I found out about by accident and I was too shocked to react," the post read. "I confronted him on it and he said I shouldn't be surprised and just get used to it because after his father's death he's now the family's 'head' and all major family events will be held in our house and in his presence."

She explained that she told him that he should've talked to her first, especially knowing that she has other commitments including a full-time job and caring for their son.

"He said we'll manage if I took time off work but that means more workload later and it'd take away from my maternity leave," the post explained. "I demanded he cancel the invitations but he refused saying 'over my dead body' then walked out."

u/No355356 said she ended up texting everyone who received an invitation that they would not be hosting Christmas this year. She claimed that when her husband found out she disinvited everyone, he called her behavior "outrageously appalling" and said that she "broke his word to his family."

In the post, u/No355356 said that her husband told her she made him "feel small" with "no authority." She also wrote that she told her husband that she did not sign up to accommodate 26 people at their home while she was pregnant and simultaneously working and taking care of their toddler.

The Redditor wrote that she told her husband that him being the "head of the family" meant nothing to her and that he walked out of the room nearly in tears.

"He later talked about how I disrespected his father and him with what I said and demanded a hand written apology for canceling the event and for being insensitive towards him and undermining his authority in front of his family," u/No355356 wrote. "But I said no apology from me in any form and the issue is still up especially with my MIL giving me a stern talk about how out of line I was for disrespecting my husband's decisions regarding the holiday celebration with family."

In the comments, many came to the Redditor's defense and said her husband's behavior was "delusional" and called the situation "divorce worthy." Others called her husband a misogynist.

According to Randi Gunther, a clinical psychologist and author at Psychology Today, it is important for couples to recognize if either partner uses manipulative language during communication.

One such manipulation technique involves hiding something from a partner in order to avoid disappointment or a confrontation.

Other types of manipulation involve guilting a person for their actions and presenting exaggerated reasons for wanting to do something. For example, u/No355356's husband said he wanted to have Christmas at his house because it was his duty as the "head of the house." In this case, her husband was trying to legitimize why he went behind her back and tried to turn the situation around on her.

In one comment, which received more than 14,000 votes, a Reddit user mentioned that her husband's language shared a lot about how he viewed marriage.

"The fact to saying she made him 'feel small' and with 'no authority' shines a light on how he sees their relationship dynamic," the user wrote.

"He'd probably call it 'traditional' but as he works a part time job while his wife has to work full time and take care of the kids, I'm gonna call it misogynistic," another commented.

Others mentioned that the Redditor's husband probably sent out the invitations without her permission on purpose and called him out for being manipulative about the situation.

"He sent those invitations out without her knowledge for a reason. He knew she'd object," one user commented. "He wagered that having already sent the invitations out would bind her against her will into putting on a 5 day, 26 person extravaganza while working full time to support the family, taking care of a toddler, and being in the last trimester of pregnancy."