Internet Slams Woman Who Asked Roommate to 'Spend Less Time With Husband' and More at Home

A woman has received heat after sharing in a viral post that she recently asked her married roommate to "spend less time with her husband and more time [at] home."

Posting to Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" forum on Tuesday under the username u/rueful-remorse, the Redditor explained that she lives with a 27-year-old woman whose husband lives three hours away.

The post, found here, has received more than 5,400 up-votes and over 950 comments.

Prior to moving in with her roommate, u/rueful-remorse said she was worried about living with someone who was "much older" and "also married." However, the two quickly developed a strong friendship.

"After about 2 months of living together, I considered her my best friend. She is so awesome and smart and I have never gotten along so well with someone so well so quickly," u/rueful-remorse wrote.

But over the last few months, u/rueful-remorse's roommate started going home to her husband more. And as a result, u/rueful-remorse has felt "lonely."

"It was really lonely and to be honest felt like it was unfair because I signed on to have a roommate, if I wanted to live by myself I would have gotten an apartment by myself," she said.

When she talked to her roommate about it, her roommate replied: "Well you knew I was married before you even signed on."

The Redditor agreed but still suggested a "compromise."

"I tried to compromise with her and suggested she could at least spend 2 weeks here and 2 weeks with her husband but she got very uncomfortable and refused to continue the conversation," said u/rueful-remorse.

"A couple [of] days ago I asked if she had thought about what I said and she said 'no,' and I suggested she could ask her husband for a second opinion and she looked mad and said that she wasn't going to mention what I said to her husband at all because 'it would worry him and give him the wrong impression of our relationship,'" u/rueful-remorse continued.

Speaking to Elite Daily, family therapist Kati Morton said that being "super needy" is one telltale sign that a roommate is "toxic."

"They can depend on you for a social life, or even all their emotional support," Morton said. "If they don't have other people they can count on, or even ways to help themselves, that can be exhausting and overwhelming."

To avoid tension with clingy roommates, Morton recommended that readers create boundaries.

"Set up some limits as to when you will talk to them and how long you will be around them," Morton advised. "Trust me, you will feel so much better."

Elite Daily also reminded readers that "there's a good chance your roommate's hyper-dependence has nothing to do with you and everything to do with something going on in their personal life."

Commenters of u/rueful-remorse's felt that she'd overstepped her roommate's boundaries, and was wrong to ask her roommate to spend less time with her spouse.

"You are roommates—she is not your entertainer. Get some friends," said u/That_Contribution720.

More than 19,000 Redditors up-voted u/That_Contribution720's in agreement.

"Yea seriously, what a gross overstepping of what roommates means. You don't get to demand that she spends more time with you. Of course she was uncomfortable. If this situation doesn't work for you OP it's time to move," wrote u/Personal_Regular_569.

"YTA [you're the a**hole]. Stop being creepy," commented u/mughoarder6.

"Signing up for a roommate doesn't mean signing up for a friend, it means signing up for someone who splits the place and the rent with you. You're being weird, creepy, and controlling," added u/PotentialityKnocks.

Roommates conversing
A woman has received heat after sharing in a viral post that she recently asked her married roommate to “spend less time with her husband and more time home.” Many commenters said the Redditor should move out and find friends. Pheelings Media/istock